You’re babysitting your cousin one afternoon.
He’s eight years old.
He goes outside to play.
You go out to watch him.
He starts kicking ant hills.
You warn him to stop it.
He doesn’t listen.
You go back inside for a slice of crumb cake,
and when you come back…
your cousin is being carried away by a hundred million ants.
They’re marching into the woods.
You follow them quietly.
After a few minutes, they stop at a giant anthill.
It’s larger than you.
The ants drop your cousin.
He spots you and runs over to you screaming.
“HELP ME! The ants! The aAants!”
You unzip your face mask and reveal your ant head.
“I WARNED YOU.” you cried.
He runs away in terror.
Your ant comrades swarm around your feet, lifting you up, and swiftly carrying you after him.
You’re riding a tidal wave of ants.
It bears down on your cousin, engulfing him.
When the ants clear, he is lying there.
You carry him back to the giant anthill.
He awakens. “Nooo, please.” he begs.
“Shhh.” you whisper. “Accept your anty fate.”
You bury him up to his head in the ant hill, and walk away.
Then, a giant person comes and kicks the ant hill.
You watch lovingly as your cousin flies through the air and into the distance.
You return to his house, where your aunt asks where your cousin is.
You tell her the truth. He kicked an ant hill and died.
She laughs and peels off her face, revealing a beetle.
You reach for a kitchen knife, but it’s too late. She’s upon you, beating you to death with her beetle strength.
Suddenly, there’s a knock on the door.
“Special delivery!” the knocker said.
Your aunt puts her human face back on, turns to open the door, and a voice asks her “Are you an a(u)nt?”
“Yes I am.” she antswered
A giant net then swooped down and captured her.
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” she screams, “I’m not an ant! There’s a real ant in there!”
“Enough of your lies.” said the Bug Catcher, “The lying is done.”
And he carried her away.
You get up and stumble outside.
Your ant brothers and sisters arrive on the scene.
“Are you okay?” they ask.
“Yes.” you reply, “But the Bug Catcher is in town.”
“You have to come underground with us.”
“No. My place is up here.” you say solemnly.
“Good luck… friend.” they say, returning to the forest.