Jesus Christ I havent posted in a while. ill fix that.
Obi: Only a Sith deals in absolutes.
Ani: But that was an absolute.
Obi: GEE ANAKIN, YOU’RE SO SMART. Why don’t you choke your pregnant wife some more. You know, the one that you’re so desperate to save that you murdered a bunch of little kids, because some sinister-looking old fuck told you to after he zapped your only black friend out a 1000-story window? “He needs a trial! Errbody deserves a trial! I mean, except for all the people I’m about to kill.” But no, you’re right, /I’M/ the hypocrite for not coming up with a more elegant way of saying “Only a Sith is a fucking asshole” in the heat of the moment as I prepare to cut my good friend and former apprentice’s legs off. You’re being a fucking dick, Anakin.
Ani: Oh my god you’re right, what have I done?
Obi: Look, just chill the fuck out. Take Padme and just get the hell out of here. I’m going to try to rally whatever Jedi I can fin-
Jango: FORGETTING SOMETHING?
errbody: Jango Fett?! You’re definitely not alive.
Jango: Sorry to disappoint you faggot, but the guy that Mace Windu killed was merely a CLONE.
Ani: Oh. my. fucking. god. Best bounty hunter ever.
Jango: That’s right. Remember when I told you you’re fucking dead, kiddo? I wasn’t lying. I have the resources of the entire United States military at my disposable. I graduated top of my class in the Mandalorian Sniper Academy, and I’m trained in Wookie warfare.
Obi: Don’t you mean Tusken warfare?
Jango: No, both of them have a very similar style of gorilla combat.
Ani: Don’t you mean guerr-
Jango: NOW THEN, PREPARE TO DIE.
Palps: NOT SO FAST.
Obi: The Empero-i mean he’s not the Emperor yet!
Palps: That’s right. Just wanted to stop by and see how killing Obi-Wan’s going, Anakin.
Ani: Fuck off old man, I’m through being your dumb kid that you manipulate into committing unspeakably horrible crimes.
Palps: That’s a shame, Anakin, because I was looking for a new apprentice to test out these CROSSGUARD LIGHTSABERS.
Jango: Oh sweet! Dibs!
Palps: Here you are, Jango.
Internet: DUAL-WIELDING crossguard lightsabers? COME THE FUCK ON.
Jango: >implying I can’t do whatever I want to.
Palps: NOW THEN, LET US FINISH THIS.
Pads: Hey I’m going into labor.
Palps: Okay but I don’t care because I’m evil.
Jango: I… also have a child… go.
Palps: What the fuck, bro. I JUST gave you lightsabers.
Jango: And now you’re going to regret the shit out of it.
Palps: *while being wrecked* FUCK! I’M NO MATCH FOR HIS SUPERIOR SPEED AND ALSO HE HAS A JETPACK. AND THOSE CROSSGUARD LIGHTSABERS ARE REALLY GIVING ME HELL!
*Jango slices off the Emper- I mean, you know, whatever. He cuts his head off*
Jango: I DID IT. I SAVED THE GALAXY.
*cue Star Wars theme*
In Pieces 