Raymond was led off to prison while Rob was given a bigass gun and a medal.
“How’s it feel to be a hero?” asked Sergeant McMann.
Rob glowed with pride.
“It feels right,” he said, like a pompous jackass.
Suddenly, a bunch of goddamn aliens erupted through the wall. They shrieked in a horrifying alien language.
“Die Herrenrasse ist zurückgekehrt, um zu beenden, was wir begonnen, außer wir schloss er im Weltraum!”
“OH MY GOD, ALIENS!” cried Rob, suddenly the pussy.
The United Space of America was under attack.
Aliens flooded the galaxy from all sides and crushed the Space Marine battleships like rock crushes scissors.
But Sergeant McMann had a plan to make scissors cover rock.
“I’m sending you on a suicide mission,” he told Rob bravely.
“Hold on, I’ll get someone else to do it,” Rob replied bravely.
“Be quick, son. If they take this station, they’ll have a direct path to Planet America,” McMann said gravely.
Rob ran like the wind to find Space Judge.
“Space Judge!” he cried, “Space Judge! Where are you when I need you the most?”
Space Judge appeared in a flash of blinding light.
“What is it, my child?”
“Space Judge, I need you to release Raymond because I need to send him on a suicide mission.”
“I cannot do that. Raymond cannot be released until his 10 years are up.”
“Space Judge, please!”
“I don’t make the laws, asshole. I just sentence people to jail for breaking them.”
to be continuededed.
In Pieces 