Star Wars: The Fett Awakens part IV

“I sense that you are a clone, stormtrooper. A TRAITOR to the Republic,” Mace Windu said, as he circled sound 8R.

“That really fucking stings and I can’t think of a retort,” replied 8R.

“It was a mistake ever trusting you, and it’ll be my pleasure killing the last of you!” roared Windu, and he charged forward with a swing of his shweet purple lightsaber.

8R deflected his attack, but fell back.

I can’t believe it. He considers me a traitor. And he’s not wrong, TR-8R thought to himself.

His inner turmoil prevented him from being the least bit badass, and he was forced into a corner by the Jedi Master.

“Prepare to die,” said Windu, as he prepared to strike down on the trooper.

“YO BITCH, FUCK YOOOOOOOU!” roared Gundam Fett, the galaxy’s most feared bounty-hunting mech.

Gundam Fett charged from behind and football-tackled Windu to the ground.

“Motha FUCKA!” gasped Samuel L. Windu, as he struggled to get to his feet.

“Let’s go, kid,” said Gundam Fett as he grabbed his clone brother and boosted back down the corridor.

“Where are we going?” asked 8R.

“The question isn’t where we’re going, but when,” replied Gundam Fett, as he opened up a goddamn time portal and jumped into it.


“Where are we?” asked TR-8R, after they finished tripping through time.

“We’re on Coruscant, before the execution of Order 66. We’re here to witness the betrayal of Mace Windu by Anakin Skywalker, that we might better understand our enemy.”

“Okay, that’s cool,” said 8R, sedated by the drugs that Fett had slipped him when they were whoooshing through time.

Gundam Fett ser him down on his feet and looked at him sternly, with his robot face that can’t actually convey emotion.

“It is imperative that you come to understand that everyone in the Universe is an asshole, and loyalty gets you nowhere. Your training will not only be physical, but philisophical. When our time together is over, you will be the new Boba Fett.”


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