Star Wars: The Fett Awakens part VIII

TR-8R awoke to the sound of blasters and shouting.

“Da fuq?” he said, emerging from the ship.

Gundam Fett and the crew were shooting down swarms of Resistance scum charging from over a nearby hill.

“Hey man, didn’t want to wake you,” said Fett tossing him a blaster.

“Yeah, thanks,” 8R said, holstering the gun and taking his stun baton and riot shield from the ship.

“Dude, there’s a lot of them,” said Fett.

“I’m really more of a close-quarters guy,” 8R said, as he raised his shield and charged into the fray.

“Whatever,” Fett turned to the Mandalorian, “Sweetheart, how’s it going over there?” he shouted.

“My name’s-”

“Not important,” said Fett.

Don’t you catch feelings, Boba. It starts with a name and it ends with heartbreak, he thought to himself.

“I’m going to flank them!” shouted the Mandalorian, and she disappeared into thin air.

“Jesus Christ, she has a cloaking device. That is so goddamn hot,” said Fett.

Further ahead, 8R was beating the tar out Resistance fighters 300-style.

But from a distance, a Resistance sniper let out a shot that just missed his head. 8R raised his shield and began to fall back.

Gundam Fett boosted in front of him before another shot could cripple his exposed leg, deflecting it with his armor.

“8R, it was too reckless charging out like that. That’s how a soldier fights, not a hunter.”

Another sniper-blast took out one of their expendable male pawns.

The two began falling back together, Fett blasting several more Resistance troopers before yet another shot downed one of their men. They all took cover behind their ships.

The situation seemed dire to all except Fett, whose hype-meter was off the charts.

He handed 8R a pair of binoculars. “Take a look,” he said.

8R spotted the enemy sniper in the distance, just in time to witness the Mandalorian uncloaking from behind him and slitting his throat.

“THAT’S how a hunter fights,” said Fett, now officially in love.

With the Mandalorian behind the enemy, they pushed forward again, quickly cleaning up the remaining Resistance fighters, leaving only one alive.

“K, brohan. Talk. How’d you know we’d be here?” demanded Gundam Fett.

“I’ll never talk!”

“You literally just did.”

“I mean, in the sense that I won’t reveal any information to you that would put my comrades in jeopardy.”

“That’s very loyal of you,” said TR-8R, “I totally respect that.”

Gundam Fett sighed.

“You still haven’t learned, have you, 8R?” he said, placing a round in the Resistance fighter’s kneecap.

He screamed in pain.

“Blind loyalty,” he said, shooting the other leg, “gets you nothing.”

He pulled the fighter off the ground and off his feet. Not like he could stand anyway lol.

“Here’s what we can do. You tell us what we want to know, we’ll drop you off at the nearest inhabited planet. You don’t cooperate, we leave you here with no legs.”

The Resistance fighter took a half-second to think about it before complying.

“Windu,” he said.

“Windu? Mace freaking Windu is cooperating with the Resistance?” demanded Fett.

“No, no-” gasped the fighter through the pain, “He still refuses to work with us. He just told us that The Order would be here with a secret weapon.”

“We’re not The Order, kiddo,” said Fett.

“I know. If you were, we wouldn’t have lost. The Order doesn’t have fighters like that-” he nodded at the Mandalorian. Inside her helmet, she grinned.

“So Mace goddamn Windu doesn’t even have the respect to face us himself,” Fett said angrily.

“He stole your spaceship, too,” 8R noted.

“I’m so mad I have a stomach ache. I need to get out of here. You two,” he pointed at the remaining space-banditos, “bring this guy to the hospital on Bleekifi.”

He turned to the Mandalorian.

“You’re with us. I’m sorry, I never caught your name.”

“My name doesn’t matter,” she teased, walking onto the ship.

“8R, listen to me.” Gundam Fett said.

“What is it?”

“I need you to step up your game and stop being stupid. You’re going to have to take charge, because this dame’s got my brain all screwy right now. And freaking Mace Windu, that asshole thinks he’s too good to kill me himself? Oh man oh man oh man,” he walked past 8R and into the ship.

“Hey, what about our money?” asked one of the space-piratebros.

“8R, pay them!” shouted Fett from the cockpit.



“You don’t have they money, do you?”

“Guys, I’m really sorry.”

“No, no. It was, it was a fun day. We killed some Resistance, almost died ourselves.”

“I can at least give you gas money.”

“Thank you.”

8R handed them all the credits he had- more than enough for gas, almost enough for the trouble- and they parted ways.

The banditbros flew off with the wounded soldier, and TR-8R took a seat next to the Mandalorian in the cockpit. Fett was lying down in the passenger cabin, nursing his upset stomach and headache.

“Fett, where are we going?” called 8R.

“Put it on autopilot, the coordinates are already locked. We need to see a guy about a thing. I freaking hate Mace Windu. Dammit.”

8R sighed, wished the Mandalorian a goodnight, and placed his earbuds in, falling asleep to some chill-out music.

to be continued…

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