“Hey, what’s that behind you?” Ray asked Convict 675, who was about to rape him.
“What the fuck are you talking about?” questioned Convict 675 suspiciously as he turned around like a goddamn idiot.
Ray slammed his shin into the convict’s testicles as hard as he possibly could. He fell over in agony and Ray proceeded to stomp his face until a guard rushed in and threw him against the wall.
“FUCKING LET GO OF ME!” shouted Ray, as the convict rose to his feet.
The guard opened the visor on his helmet revealing none other than fucking Rob. That asshole.
“Calm down candyass, it’s me.”
“WHAT THE FUCK ROB! You were going to let him give me the business!”
“No, look.”
Convict 675 pulled off his face, and revealed that he actually a giant ant.
“Oh shit, an Ant!” cried Ray, overjoyed.
“I was never going to rape you, Ray,” the Ant signed, “It was just a practical joke.”
Ray hugged the Ant and wept.
“Good one,” he said.
Rob handed Ray an assault rifle.
“We’re here to bust you out and stop the aliens from destroying everything we love so dearly.”
“There’s fucking aliens?” questioned Ray.
“Yeah it turns out you were right, as per usual,” sighed Rob.
“Yeah, no shit. How will we ever escape from here though? It’s guarded by 99 guards!”
The Ant looked smug as shit.
“I can lift 100 times my own body weight. So I lifted them all and threw them into a garbage compactor.”
“We did it!” cried Ray, “We escaped from prison!”
“Not so fast, bitch. Your time has not been served.”
Space Judge appeared in a poof of crushed hope and pointed a rocket launcher at them.
“Now get the fuck back in that cell, or eat my anger.”
TO BE CONTINUED, probably!
In Pieces 