“You killed my father, you son of a bitch,” said Gundam Fett as he punched Mace Windu across the sky.
Mace Windu did a bitchin’ Force Flip and landed on top of a tree.
“NO, Boba. Your father killed HIMSELF. Cunt.”
Gundam Fett landed below him and looked up, pointing his flamethrower which also fired ants directly at him. Fire ants.
“What are you talking about?” he demanded.
“Think about it, Boba! He knew his jetpack was fucked, and he still fired at me anyway, knowing that he’d be unable to escape me. Why would he do that? Why wouldn’t he have surrendered?”
“Because he knew you’d never let him live!” retorted Fett angrily, sending a jet of flaming ants at the tree.
Mace Windu flipped down and kicked Gundam Fett in the robot-dick.
“Listen to me, boy. He was entitled to a fair trial. I’m all about giving fair trials except to wrinkly-ass old Sith lords. You know it’s true, you know my record.”
It WAS true: Mace Windu had long been a fierce advocate of civil rights, even defending prisoners of war from unfair persecution.
“So the question remains, Boba- WHY did he shoot at me? Why did he WANT to die?”
“I DON’T KNOW, WHY?!” yelled Gundam Fett, angrily punching the ground so hard that it created a wave that sent Supreme Mole Snokes flying out into the open.
“Because he’d been poisoned, Fett. YOUR FATHER WAS ALREADY AS GOOD AS DEAD!” said Mace Windu as he backflipped through the air and slam-dunked his lightsaber into Supreme Mole Snokes’s head.
oh shit, son. to be continued!
In Pieces 