“Okay, so who’s the backup?” asked 8R.
“Yeah, I called the Resistance lmao,” said Gundoom.
“Okay, why did you think that was a good idea?”
Gundo- okay forget it, one second.
“By the way, 8R. Please, just call me Gundam Fett.”
“You don’t want to be Darth Gundoom anymore?”
How’s that for character development?
“I called the Resistance so while they and the stormtroopers are all killing each other, we can deal with the Sith.”
“Okay, I guess? But whoever wins is still going to want to kill us. Your plan relies on every single Resistance fighter and every single stormtrooper all killing each other.”
Gundam Fett wasn’t amused.
“No, jackoff. The Resistance now thinks we’re on their side. All we have to do is let them do their thing. As long as they beat the stormtroopers, we’re golden.”
“And if all the stormtroopers are dead, then we’re not even going to have an Order to rule over.”
“Oh god you’re right, everything is fucked. Okay wait… I have an idea.”
Gundam Fett pulled out his phone and made 2 calls.
“I gave the Resistance a new address, and then I told Snoke to meet us for a showdown LOL.”
“How do you have everyone’s phone number?”
“I’m Boba Fett.”
“WAIT. Do you smell that?”
“THAT’S RIGHT, MOTHA FUCKAS.”
Mace Windu jumped out of a comet and kicked Gundam Fett right in the crotch.”
Fett fell over and meditated on where everything went wrong.
“It’s just you and me now, stormtrooper,” laughed Mace Windu.
“So, you killed Palpatine.”
“Of course I killed Palpatine, he’s a punk bitch. I’m Mace Windu,” announced Mace Windu.
“Want to be friends?” asked 8R.
“Yeah, let’s go,” said Mace, and they took hands and flew away.
“TRAITORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!” roared Gundam Fett, shaking his fists and firing missiles all over the damn place.
“Sorry Fett, you just need to get your shit together,” said 8R as he and the Jedi Master disappeared into teh sky.
Gundam Fett was truly alone. No qt gf, no apprentice, nothing.
This was his element, where he was at his best. He basked in the loneliness for a moment and felt his bounty-hunter instincts kick back in. He knew what he had to do.
“I’m going to assassinate literally everyone” he said to himself.
“Starting with… SUPREME LEADER SNOKE.”
to be continued…