Albus Potter had just been expelled from Hogwarts for kissing his mom.
What Co-Headmasters Harry Potter and Severus Snape didn’t know was that Ginny Weasley wasn’t really Ginny Weasley, but Voldemort’s own daughter with her hair dyed red.
“Everything’s going according to plan lmao. By changing the prescriptions on Harry Potter’s glasses and Snape’s contact-lenses, we were able to trick them into thinking Delphini was a young Ginny Weasley” Voldercort said proudly.
“But master” said Ratman, “all the students are killing us and we’re trapped in the school by Flintwick’s bubble-spell!” The rest of the death-eaters nodded in agreement like idiot cowards.
“You idiot cowards, we’re not trapped in here with them, they’re trapped in here with US,” said Voldemort, and he tore off his shirt, revealing the physique of a heavyweight MMA champion. “BEHOLD!” he shrieked and he cast a stream of creatine from his wand and turned his wimpy death eaters into hulks.
“BRO, WE’RE FUCKING YUGE.” said Anonymous Death Eater 1, and he immediately started bench-pressing cauldrons.
“those kids are fuckin’ dead.” laughed Peter Pumpkinhead and he turned into a rat, but was now a 7-foot rat with huge muscles.
“I AM A GOD NOW,” he screamed and slammed his tail into the wall breaking it down.
“Calm tf down Pater” said Voldermon wisely, “it is not yet time. First we must wait for Albus to turn to the Dark Side lol. Now that he’s been expelled from school, he’s going to be madder than hell. He’ll surely come back into Hogwarts seeking revenge on the Headmasters. Once they’re dead, we’ll be able to take all of the students into Suplex City. Forever. AHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!”
all of the death eaters laughed along until they could barely breathe. Man what a good time they were having.
Meanwhile Albus wasn’t laughing, and was instead very very angry. He had been sent back home and had nothing to do.
He texted Delphi “My dad is such a fucking retard.”
Delphi texted him a pic of her tits; “you should kill him lol xoxo”
“Jesus Christ I have to get back there and kill him” said Albus to himself, and he took out the Elder Wand he had stolen from his father. Now that he was the master of it, he was friggin unstoppable.
“Not so fast, Albus Potter” said the ghost of Ron Weasley, “You might be able to kill your father, but Severus Snape is on a whole other level.”
Albus looked up in shock. “Y-you’re going to help me get my revenge?”
“Yes,” said Ron, “Your dad is a prick.”
“If you want to get the drop on Snape, you’ll need the Invisibility Cloak; then you’ll be the Master of Disaster.”
“B-but I thought I needed the Stone of Whatever said Albus.
“No, that thing is bullshit,” replied Ron, “it’s a complete piece of crap that doesn’t help you personally at all. Invisibility and invincibility are all you need.”
“Okay cool,” said Al.
“btw though, that girl you’re texting is Voldemort’s daughter.”
“I literally don’t give a fuck.”
“Good man,” replied the Wease, and he flipped on his shades.
He was psyched to see Harry finally get what was coming to him.
to be continued…