“My sensors indicate that you are being a massive bitch right now,” Robo-Mitch revealed.
Sarah slapped him. He felt no pain, because he was a robot.
“I’ll show you ‘bitch!'” she screamed, and kicked him hard in the groin. She broke her shin.
“LMAO. You can’t harm me now that I’ve transplanted my brain into this robot body. I’m fucking invincible!” Robo-Mitch laughed, and turned back to his TV, continuing to play Ignore-Your-Girlfriend 5 on his Playstation VR, where he was doing the exact same thing in-game as he was in real life.
“Wow, so realistic!” he exclaimed.
“If you’re going to keep ignoring me, maybe we should just break up,” Sarah said tearfully.
Robo-Mitch knew she was bluffing. Sure they fought, but their love was stronger than the diamond ring he refused to buy her.
He gestured toward the doorway, still facing the TV.
“It was nice knowin’ ya babe :3 ” he said.
“You asshole!” she yelled and stormed out, slamming the door behind her.
On the way out of the apartment, she almost tripped over the present he’d left for her. She opened it and gagged. In the box, was his heart. No longer necessary in his robot-body, and the perfect token of his adoration for her.
“Fucking gross,” she laughed, and read the card that’d been taped to the box.
“My dearest Sarah,
You know you’ll always have my heart LOL.
She knew beyond the grotesque joke it was true. Sure, he’d been addicted to that stupid video game for a few days, but besides his stupid obsession with obscure indie video games, he’d been a great boyfriend. Strong, caring, always there when she needed him for the last 3 years now. Her only real problem with him was that he refused to stop calling himself Robo-Mitch.
But after he put his brain inside a robot body, those few weeks ago, something about him changed. Something besides literally everything composing his physical body. His attitude had changed. He’d become more ambitious, more daring. He told her he’d been planning to propose to her. But in his new robot-eyes, the diamond he’d picked out for her didn’t seem enough. He wanted to give her something better than “a stupid stone with poor resell-value.” But what exactly he was planning he refused to tell her until he had it.