Metro 2035: Maybe the Real Dark Ones Were the Friends We Made Along the Way

I’m going to uh… make a spoiler-free review, and then one with spoilers. So here’s the spoiler-free one:

just read it, jesus christ. it’s a truly good series. it’s a 24 year old guy traveling around a subway system where everyone lives because the world ended. There’s mutants, ghosts, philosophy, all kinds of cool stuff. Lots of cool characters doing lots of cool things. Like what else are you going to do with your downtime? watch porn? idiot. read the books. god i hate typing on laptops.

All three books are distinct and great in their own way. I STRONGLY recommend reading all of them. The first almost feels like a ghost story. The second is like a Greek myth, and the third is like… idk, a mystery novel. They’re all extremely interesting and fun to read.

I’ve read reviews saying the English translations aren’t great in the last book, but I had no trouble understanding it. I imagine only brainlets would. There’s a few grammatical errors, but other than that, it’s entirely fine imo. Just read it instead of looking for excuses not to.








If I were to sum up the story of Metro, it’d be that everyone is shit. That’s too basic, though. And I’m not basic, and neither are you.

Here’s the thing though, stay with me. Consider Miller. The heroic founder and leader of The Order: an elite military organization dedicated to preserving the peace of the entire Metro. It’s comprised of the bravest, strongest, most well-trained soldiers possibly left on the entire Earth. The weight of the world rests on Miller’s broad shoulders. In the first book of Artyom’s journey, he not only rescued Arytom from cannibals, but completed the mission of destroying the Dark Ones. He pulled his team through the Hell lurking in the Kremlin. A great leader of men with an indomitable spirit, Miller was the true hero of Metro 2033.

And then we find out he beat his wife until she killed herself.

What about Hunter? Miller’s right-hand man. The greatest warrior of The Order. Undoubtedly a badass. His speech about survival in the first book is quotable. It’s awesome, he’s awesome. And how awesome was it finding out he survived his encounter with the Dark Ones? He’s UNKILLABLE. This isn’t just a man, he’s a legend. In the second book, Homer’s (no, not that one) odyssey (no, not that one) with Hunter the beast-man was like a genuine myth of old.

And then we find out yeah, it was a myth. Homer kinda lied to us about at least a few details. At some point, Hunter had become a drunk. Maybe every bit as deadly as his former self, but no-longer as sharp. Did the black guy freak him out because of his PTSD from the Dark Ones? Or was he really just a little too drunk?

Everyone else is shit, too. Artyom’s friends all betray him in various stupid ways from not WRITING WHAT THEY’RE SUPPOSED TO, HOMER to betraying him for a stupid cushy shadow-government job.

Artyom’s shit too. Cheating on your wife with a whore? Great job, idiot. Thank God she doesn’t leave you.

The Fascists have a concentration camp for people with cancer. The Communists are starving their people and turning their bodies into pig feed. Hansa doesn’t give a shit. Polis doesn’t give a shit. And The Order are the unwitting pawns of the people keeping everyone trapped down here.

Look at these people! They all suck! But it’s not like they’re all villains. They’re just people. And people either suck or are dumb. That’s an important lesson in Metro. Almost no-one can see the big picture, and besides Artyom, the ones who do see it don’t try to change it. But what are they supposed to do? Artyom’s not Moses. None of them are Moses. Several times throughout the story, Artyom desperately tries to show people they have a very simple path to freedom, and every single time, no-one or almost no-one listens to him.

it’s all so tiresome. In the first book, Gandalf– excuse me, KHAN, among the most virtuous (as in, just not shitty) characters in the series, the others being Artyom’s wife and his step-father, also tries leading people away from certain death. But they just don’t follow. No-one follows, so what’s the fucking point of trying to lead? There isn’t any. They’re either going to ignore you, or wash over you and smother you to fucking deathPOOR SAVaLII HE WAS SO COOL. If Khan hadn’t abandoned them, he and Artyom (and Ace) would have died.

And sure, some people will notice both the Commies and the Fashys being degenerate and say “Hurrr, horsehoe, big-brained radical centrism so deeeep”, and that’s just not the fucking point. Forget the politics, if it helps you, just imagine them as entirely different groups because it just doesn’t matter. The lesson is about who you can depend on personally, and the fucking reality of life is that you can only depend on your family and maaaaybe extremely-close friends. Everyone else is going to try to fuck you.

Whatever that weirdo-cuck Invisible Watcher’s name was told Artyom the plain fact of reality. There is no “we”.

Don’t bother trying so hard to be Moses (or the Fuhrer or the Comrade General) when life is hard enough looking out for yourself and your immediate family. you’re doing them an injustice if you divide your attention from them– just like Artyom was doing Anya an injustice by fucking Sasha.

Maybe the best thing about the book was Artyom realizing he need Anya. Imagine having a beautiful, loyal wife, who wants nothing more than to have your children, and you betray her to go try to play hero for total strangers. Absolutely fucking degenerate.

if you’re going to leave the Metro, just leave. Take your wife and vamoose, don’t bring the world with you. They don’t want to leave anyway.

You can be heroic without being godly. But you can’t be godly, you just can’t. Every time you try, you will be foiled by people being people: stupid, selfish, scared. And so what? Why do you need to be God, ARTYOM?

Great series.



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