Standing there in front of the chalkboard was an extra-pale girl with short hair and a school uniform writing gibberish with chalk. Or it could have been kanji or whatever, idk I cant read any of this stuff. She turned around and glared at us.
Is that the ghost?! C-cute! She might be even cuter than Kyutu! I thought to myself.
Kyutu unfurled… is that right, unfurled? 1 sec… oh, unrolled. unrolled a big scroll and japanese characters levitated off of it.
“Peter! Watch my back, I’m going to banish this spirit!” she shouted, and the ghost girl suddenly was frozen.
“Wait, maybe I can reason with her!” I said and I cut the scroll in half with my katana.
“IDIOT! WHAT THE HELL ARE U DOING!?” she cried.
I bowed at the ghost girl and sheathed my blade. “I am Konoko Kashikage. Please, will you be my girlfriend?”
The ghost girl continued glaring at me soundlessly. Kyutu was stunned silent. The ghost girl descended into the floor, and disappeared.
I did it! I thought to myself. I saved Kyutu and maybe now she’ll want to be with me too as well as the ghost girl. It’s only my first day and im already starting a harem! (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و
“IDIOT!” Kyutu reached out to slap me, but she missed because something started pulling me through the floor. Prolly ghost girl.
“Oops. Help me!” I scried.
“FOOL! You destroyed my banishing scroll! There’s nothing I can do!” still she grabbed my hands and pulled. M-maybe she really does care?
“NO IDIOT! As Class President, I am responsible for you!” and she heaved with all the might in her tiny, cute little body. But it wasn’t enough. I was being pulled straight down.
My only regret is not having a qt3.14 azn gf. I thought out-loud as I accepted my death.
“Hold oN!” yelled Chado, and he whipped out his… what’s the word for when you uncollapse something that’s collapsible? Well anyway he extended his collapsible baseball bat that was glowing on FIRE and he said “BATUR UPU!!” and she swung it at the ghost girl’s hands and she shriekd and let go.
“Chado you saved me!” I gasped. He pulled me to my feet with one arm effortlessly, further emasculating me.
“Just for now. she’ll be back, and without the banishing scroll, we can’t stop her,” said Kyutu. “Idiot, that girl committed suicide because she was lonely and now you’ve asked her to be your girlfriend.”
“So she wants to ???” （〃・ω・〃）
“Yeah, probably,” said Chado. “Not a lot of people ask out ghosts.”
“That’s great!” I said, FINALYL! MY FIRST GIRLFRIEND! I THOUGHt out loud.
“Dumbass, you can’t date a ghost.”
“None of this matters, we have to finish purifying the school. There’s still a handful more ghosts. Chado, I’m going to get extra scrolls from the faculty office incase Peter doe–
p-please, call me Konoko.
… in case he ruins any more of them. Please go with him and make sure he doesn’t get into any trouble.”
“Yes, Kyutu.” he smiled at her. Theirs was genuine love. Peter, or Konoko or whatever, might have had a thing for asian girls because so many american women are trashy and loud and obnoxious and the modesty of nippon grills made them infinitely more endearing, and also western cartoons are trash and anime is for patricians and this all greatly fueled the delusional beliefs and desires which he projected on to asians in real life, but he was still a baka gaijin and the entire reason that Japan is so appealing is because PEOPLE LIKE PETER AREN’T THERE TO BEGIN WITH and if he had any self-awareness at all he’d understand he doesn’t belong here. But who knows? Maybe he’ll find his place in this ghost school after all. Maybe he can earn his place in Yagami High School. Maybe he really can become a ninja. Like what the hell was up with Chado’s baseball bat?
“Chado, what’s with your baseball bat?” Pet– uh, Konoko, me, asked.
“Well Peter… have you ever seen Bleach?”
“please call me Konoko. Yes, I think you know that I have seen Bleach.”
“This baseball bat is basically my Zanpakutō.”
“NO. WAY.” O___________O
“Way man. But not every student has one. You need to be important, like a team captain or on the student council… or the entire ghost-fighting team has their own.”
“So i’ll join the ghost-fighting team!”
“I don’t know if the captain will let you, since you destroyed one of their banishment scrolls. Kinda a dumb thing to do.”
“I’ll talk it out with him! Who is it?!”
“I’ll introduce you… they’re probably working in the senior wing right now…”
Chado and I walked up the stairs and we heard fighting. I knew i’d soon be witness to a genuine anime battle. My heart started racing abd I drew my katana.
“Dude, please dont wave that thing around,” Chado protested.
“dont worry, I’m experienced.” I assured him, and I ran on ahead to facemy destiny, but then I tripped because the ghost girl grabbed me again. My blade fell from my hands across the floor. I looked down at her and my heart melted. So cute.
“CHADO HELP ME!” I yelled, kicking at her.
Chado called his shot and knocked her outta the park. “I dunno what you’re going to do about that,” he said. “She’s never going to stop coming for you until she’s banished. Maybe the captain can help you…”
those words spooken, a voice from behind said,
“AND WHY SHOULD I HELP YOU?”
I turned around and saw the new most beautiful onnanoko I’ve ever seen.