I looked up in a hazy haze from the bathroom floor that I had just been slammed into. Standing before me was a gym teacher with gym teacher shorts and his calves were as thick as my entire body. He prepared to give me a kick that would send me into the next life or whatever the hell buddhists believe idk yet it’s my first day of school
He raised his mighty tree-trunk leg to stomp me good, but then out of the floor the ghost of Ayumi appeared and he grabbed his foot and flipped him over.
>Tfw when ghost gf (•‾⌣‾•)و ̑̑♡
GO AYUMI GO!
But then the PE Teacher backhanded her and she flew through the wall, literally cuz shes a ghost. I was once again alone with the brute.
I drew my katana and sliced at him yelling “ARIGATO!” because I confused it with sayonara. The sword went through him without damaging him.
All hope seemed lost but then I remembered what Chado told me about his bat. It must have been able to knock out Ayumi because it was infused with mysticral engery, or, “Chakra”. I knew wat I had to do >:|
I did the handsign for my custom homebrew jutsu that I created back in America, or (“Amerika”) and I placed my hand on my katana and channeled all of my chakra into it. The gym teacher patiently waited, smirking at me like he was about to give me a failing grade just like my gym teacher in Amerika because I refused to participate in stupid Amerikan sports.
“JUTSU COMPLETE!” I yelled and I chucekd my katana at the pe teacher like a spear and he gasped and screamed. “AYIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!” he evaporated.
“Konoko, that was incredible,” said Kana who had appeared at the door. Maybe she was checking on me because she was worried about me?
“Where did you learn those handsigns?” she demanded.
“I created them myself from what I learned watching Naruto,” I said smugly.
“What is that, anime?” she asked, in a dismissive tone that offended me.
“ur japanese. How can u not know what naruto is?”
“Ignorant foreigner, I don’t have time to watch CARTOONS, I am the captain of this school’s ghost-fighting team.”
“It’s a shame, Kana,” said Principal Yagami who has appeared. “You could learn a thing or two from the true-story of Naruto.” he said.
“have u seen the movie Prometheus or played Halo or watched that Ancient Aliens show or played Assassins Creed?” asked principal Yagami. It’s all true, except Naruto and the Ninjas were the real precursors of humanity.
“that can’t possible” Kana said. The shinobi ARE REAL?!
“I used to wonder about that myself. Thought it was a bunch of mumbo-jumbo. A magical power holding together good and evil, the Ying and the Yang. Crazy thing is… it’s true. The Chakra. The Shinobi… All of it… It’s all true,” explained Yagami.
“Because you’re a weeb, you possess an incredible and invaluable amount of knowledge. Watching anime has been forbidden in Nippon for a long time now because it was turning everyone into WORTHLESS NEETS. But now… well, it looks like you’re the big man on compass.
“I vow to defend this school using my awesome jutsu.”
“It’s not enough. You’ll need to learn more. And I can teach you. I will teach you to be… A NINJA. But you must still learn math and science because they are important.”
“HAI!” I shouted (that means yes) ╭( ･ㅂ･)و ̑̑ ˂ᵒ͜͡ᵏᵎ⁾✩ I KNEW IT, I KNEW LITERALLY ALL OF MY WILDEST FANTASIES WERE REAL.
I turned to Kana.
“Kana, will you now allow me on your ghost-fighting team?”
She looked at me with a mixture of disgust and disdain and contempt. But she relented.
“The school has been cleansed of angry sprits for the time being. Both of you get to homeroom now.”