DUMB JOURNAL ENTRY/NEW BOOK COMING SOON or else seppuku

Rodrigo Gets Some will be DONEZO and available before this year is up. I’m OFFICIALLY ANNOUNCING IT now so that I’ll look like a tremendous asshole if I don’t succeed.

I’m giving myself a deadline of ………………………………

November 1st. It will be finished and up on Amazon by November 1st, and if it isn’t, you’ll never hear anything from me ever again because I will have surely harakiri’d myself.

I hate using this as a personal journal (I don’t) but the reason it hasn’t been finished already is because I am in perpetual agony every waking moment of the day. My entire life is back pain. It’s my entire existence: suffering. But I’m trying to solve it in a number of ways, and I’m hopeful I can. Because it’s nothing short of crippling. Even now I keep neiowfnafiutnhguiohserihtjoir forget it, jus

god i cant stand people telling me they know how i feel. if anyone actually knew how much pain I was every single moment of the day they’d euthanize me in my sleep. i feel resentful of all mankind when i look around at other people standing or sitting in positions i cant even imagine and not wincing in pain like i would be. whatever. it doesnt matter. hopefully the stuff im trying will help put me relatively pain-free. especially because now ive taken an unbreakable holy vow to finish a new book in 2 months or ritually disembowel myself.

um what elseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…

im practicing drawing. gonna be posting stuff on deviantart, but havent posted there since making the account in the first place months ago. now that i’ve got more time im trying to be less of a robotic soulless deadman. i had a nightmare the other night, one of the scariest nightmares i’ve ever had, and i actually really enjoyed it because it wasn’t a dream about a retail job like everything else has been for the past year. like it was beautiful. i enjoyed being scared awake. it’s like a sign. even the worst kind of night terrors are still less soul-sucking than helping boomers pick out TVs. id rather have weird nightmares every night until I die than have shitty boring dreams. our dreams are supposed to be escapes from reality, not fucking /extra/ reality glopped on top of our already-miserable days.

where was i going with this? oh yeah, im practicing drawing. ummm.. gonna start posting on deviantart. i WANT to start illustrating that japanese ghost high school weeb story, but that’s not going to be immediate for me I think. but i will be trying to post there daily to uh.. keep myself going and get into a habit. daily prompts, etc. i just need to practice, basically jesus christ my back is killing megfiowgajiouhursthjrsthrth

there’s also a lot of really dumb small shit that ive got to do, and it’s all just a giant pain in the ass. *i typed out a whiny paragraph here but it’s not worth including, it’s all just so trivial but gowefjiouasegreghrtirthsrth*

The biggest issue in my entire life right now is just my inability to sit at my desk (or sit or stand in general) for more than 5 minutes without wanting to slam my head through concrete and end my miserable existence. it’s a big problem for a nerd when he CAN’T EVEN FUCKING SIT DOWN. so uh, hopefully ill be able to solve that. because i’ll either be able to solve the issue or I won’t, and i’ll miss my deadline in 2 months and then the ring that an ancient aztec god of fitness tied around my aorta will have dissolved releasing a lethal venom, and i’ll be dead.

tl;dr:

1- new book coming, GET HYPE
2- follow my adventures in trying to not suck at drawing at https://www.deviantart.com/ghastby

3- if the above doesnt happen it’s because im fucking dead. rest in peace, me. everything hurts.