it's so pathetic that I'm writing this on my phone.
maybe there's a... i got it. i figured it out. i have the solution. agter all... agyer... after all these years, i know what will work, right? a TEXT DOCUMENT, and i just edit this page with literally anything, a space will suffice, just to update it onto the feeds, since i don't think text documents show up. and I'll just have a static page here like cnn excuse me that's a horrible mistake, like PNN, and then i can easily-- i mean a text document is going to be WAY easier to edit, not just on my phone but even on my PC right?!?!?!?!?!!????
only downside is images, but whatever, I'll figure something out for that, it doesn't really matter. what matters is being able to WRITE A POST without driving myself insane. I'm LAZY, i just wanna WRITE without having to--looking at the html right now as i type this is enough to drive a man insane, it's COMPLETELY tabbed incorrectly from pasting just so i--forget it. so why don't I just uhh...
I'll try it now. I'll make a page, IDK call it blog and SURELY that'll be nice and pleasant to edit compared to this right? ok I'll go try it brb
pic unrelated. hey hey goodevening fren.
wanna talk about video games? that's from Blue Archive btw, she gives you an overhead whack with applications when you recruit new girls. it's cute.
Aragami? uhhhhh. idk whatever. ive got all the powers i want, now im just kinda mindlessly going through levels. the story's picked up a bit, but all of the levels are kinda just busywork. bussywork. im sorry. like, "kill 6 necromancers" or "collect 4 fooderinos for the heckin starving townspeople". it's *good*, it's just zzzzzzzzzz. and i mean it, the game is good, but it's just a little to repetitive. also while im complaining about things, you dont get enough money in the missions. say you collect all the gold in a mission and make about 500. a freaking 1-use portal costs 900. wait. that's not fair, I don't know for sure that it's only 1 use. i bet it is, but idk for sure. but you know what's definitely 1 use? 1 exploding shuriken, costing I think 200 gold. point being, usable items are too costly. and they SHOULDNT be. it's not like they're more powerful than your infinite-use abilities. I can summon the freakin Dragon of the Darkness Flame from Yu Yu Hakusho to eat an enemy, and it's just on a cooldown. Why does one single shuriken cost me half my takeaway from a mission? TOO EXPENSIVE, IT'S WRONG. Even smoke bomb cost 90 gold, meanwhile you can mesmerize a group of enemies, which has the same effect, for free. Or you can lure them to a blue lamp and make it explode in smoke to stun them, for free. OY VEY THEESE NINJA TOOLS AH TOO EXPENSIVE, CAN YA GIVE ME A BETTAH DEAL?
You know what gave out items in a pretty neat way which encouraged you to actually use them? Tenchu: Wrath of Heaven. Make sure to check out my review for it, and other ninja games, on my index page that i want to fix up but am too lazy to
just to make sure i wasnt crazy, i checked, and in Aragami 1 you *are* basically invisible when you're in the shadows. like you have to be within arm's reach for someone to see you, so you can basically just walk around like a cool dude warping shadow-to-shadow. 2, you can't rely on shadows like that. Even in "Classic Mode", where you can warp to shadows, and you get a "stealth bonus" while you're in them, enemies still seem to spot you practically as they normally would. It's like what's the point? And skill points take forever to get, I'm not investing any of them into the "bonus while you're in the shadows" skill, and DEFINITELY not in the "stay still for 3 seconds to get a stealth bonus skill. Stay still for 3 seconds? What are you talking about? One of the very first abilities you can get in the game lets you turn INVISIBLE if you're taking cover for 3 seconds. It's one of the most valuable perks in the game. WHY OH WHY would I spent points on a skill that DOESN'T turn me invisible, when I'm NOT taking cover?
They really goofed up a bit on the skills. It's a complete mixed bag. Still more than Aragami 1, sure. But Aragami 1's also kinda nicer-looking a lot of the time. It's got that colorful (albeit largely dark by necessitylol) art style that just HOLDS UP. It STILL looks great.
Unfortunately the devs went out of business. I would have liked an Aragami 3. They're both just examples of what gaming should be. Not a $70 200gig photorealistic movieslop.
I'm in a big ninja mood. I never did try out Red Ninja for the ps2. maybeeeeeeeee
KKIM GONNA GO. ILL TTYL. sry caps. pls take care. have a relaxing day. God bless, fren.
it's so over. i HATE updating this blog reeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. hey. hey. how was ur Christ Mass? i hope it was enjoyable. mine was i think.
Aragami 2's been --sorry, I just caught a little frog that was in my house. Thank God I got him before he disappeared under the sink. I hope he has a good life in the yard.
What was I talking about... Aragami 2. I think I'm close to the end. It's beennnnnn... fun. Idk, it has some kind of unfinished feeling to it, that I can't quite put my finger on. Now that said, I still think it's overall very good. It has a lot of things that I really like, like a little ninja town that serves as your home-- populated by a bunch of mask-wearing ninjas like you. They don't do much but walk around, but they have a -- their dialogue is simple but good. Some of them are doomers, some of them are positive. It's kind of like talking to minor characters in Zelda: they'll give you a sentence and that's about it. And I like that. I don't WANT anything more. It's GOOD WRITING for someone to just say "Let's go" or "Do you also have doubts?" There's a handful of important characters, including a girl you rescue, and she's the best character in the game and I'll die before I let anything bad happen to her. But these characters are propping up a story that's kinda convoluted and boring. There's different factions, and a war, and I have no idea who's doing what or why, and I don't really care. The ninja, the Aragami, are like, dead I think, but they don't have their souls, so you guys are trying to get your souls back. That's the only thing that really matters.
I do wish there was uhhhh... more to do in the town. To be fair, I don't know what I want, but I know I want something. At one point, the villagers give you your own house. It's neat, but there's literally nothing to do in it. It's just there. A few little things like, idk, a FISHING pond, orrrrr maybe side-quests from villagers? Those would be cool.
There's a forge with a CUTE smithygirl who everyone has a crush on. She sells all your equipment and items, so there's *some purpose* to the town besides acting as a lobby. Also a sillyman actor who dyes your clothes.
Uhhhh-- gameplay is fine. I'm NOT 100%, but I think in the first game, if you were in the shadows, you were completely invisible unless an enemy was literally right in front of you. That's no-longer the case, and I think that hurts the game. It's not harder because now you have a wild amount of abilities and tools to practically play it like an action game. BUT: a good portion of the abilities in the game are related to making it harder for enemies to see you, and I think that's just BAD when you can basically ALWAYS just find a way to be above an enemy or behind a wall from him. You don't NEED it to be hard for him to see you, you can just stay out of his line of sight! But in the first game, you could create a little blob of shadow to slowly walk around in that would keep you invisible, and it was awesome. And it had to be awesome, because you didn't have all the fight and flight options that you do now. The "Classic" difficulty doesn't do a good enough job of replicating that reliance on the shadows, I think. It's kinda cool, but not good enough.
OVERALL. Very enjoyable game, though. Put me in a stealth mood, and made me download that goblin game, Styx. I played the DEMO for it back on the ps3, and I loved it. Now that's a ball-busting game, and a topic for another post.
Stealth games are fun. I kinda want to play Aragami 1 again, too. I saw there's free MASKS dlc. THAT'S really cool.
I LOVE MASKS. MASKS ARE BASED. I'm wearing a yellow kitsune one. It reminds me of the Keaton mask from Zelda. I really. really. love masks. There's something so cool and comfy about them. Maybe Majora is what did it to me, but I can't help it. I like that there's a FEW in BotW and Tears of the Kingdom, but NOT ENOUGH. I want MORE MASKS.
Ghost of Tsushima tried, but maaaaaaaan, most of the masks just absolutely sucked. You could only get Tomoe's BROKEN mask, you could get an unbroken kitsune mask only by beating some stupid co-op mission-- I JUST WANT A COOL MASK
And that's where Aragami 2 takes a big W. I get to wear my neato kitsune mask. Even the default mask is cool. Blessed.
Enough about masks, I'm going insane. I iiiii... i cant remember....... uh. okay, anyway. pls take care of yourself fren, I'll ttyl. Merry Christmas again, and God bless.
hey fren. my dog is lying on my bed and just taking up the entire thing. and because I'm Exactly Like HP Lovecraft, I don't want to disturb her. So I guess I'm just not sleeping tonight. I'll fall asleep at my desk, that's kinda based isn't it? It would be if I was doing something productive. I'm not though.
Merry Christmas, fren. I hope you're with your family and friends. Have a holly jolly time. The birth of Christ is the greatest thing to ever happen to us. A yearly celebration is a nice little way of remembering. And it should be happy. And it is.
And because the ancient Christians were so based and respectful, we've preserved certain traditions from other cultures such as gift-giving. Are you expecting anything good this year? Did you GET anyone anything good this year? I just barely managed to do my shopping in time. I need to uh, make a Calendar reminder like a month in advance next year.
Don't forget, it's better to give than to receive. I waslmao I was watching WWE last night and one of the announcers said that when someone got hit with a giant candycane after hitting someone else with a giant candycane. It's better to give than to receive. That's just good commentary. It was a women's match, which are now more interesting than the men's matches, but that's for a different post.
Okay, anything else I want to say about Christmas? No, that's it. Happy birthday, Jesus. Shoutout to Mary for doing the most important thing a human's ever done, and thank you God for letting me write about video games on Neocities dot com.
Aga--aka...Aragami. Aragami 2 is a pretty good game. 1 was just--"""just"""--an adventure where you moved level-to-level, following a story. It was a much more punishing game that demanded stealth from you, because enemies could just 1-hit you. And it had a little Navi-like partner for you which was really cool. Until the end when it wasn't cool.
Aragami 2 gives you a reasonable chance to win a swordfight with 2 enemies at once, without any abilities or items. *With* abilities and items, you can definitely survive anything. You're still ded in a few hits, but now you've got potions, smoke bombs, a-- and I don't actually remember what you had in Aragami 1 so I'm going to shut up now, but the enemies did 1-hit you in that game.
Aragami 2's swordfighting is FUN. It uses a stamina system where you and the enemy lose stamina from blocking attacks, and you both can parry, and it's-- it's cool, it's alottafun. It's satisfying to get your attack parried, but then parry the enemy's attack. And when you hit them enough, you can decide to either KO or execute them. It's neato.
I don't remember if Aragami 1 had non-lethal options other than avoiding enemies. And I'm not saying it's a good or bad thing, either, because there's something special about *being forced* to avoid enemies if you don't want to kill them. 1 was a more hardcore stealth experience. 2 is whatever you want it to be. There's a "classic" difficulty mode, which is cool. But I don't think I have the patience right now. I did for 1, I don't know if I got all of them, I at least got a lot of the "pacifist" rankings for levels. It can be fun to try to sneak by enemies, as opposed to just hitting a button on them from behind.
That said, hitting a button on them from behindlmao-- that's fun too. Both Aragamis, but especially 2, have a lot of neato powers that make you a real Superpredator, as Hildawg would say. I'll do a -- oh, that's uhhhhhhhhhhh. zzzzzzzzzzzzz... okay, I'll do a full review and post it on the Ninja games page. No I won't, I'll give them their own page. I have to preserve the INTEGRITY of the "PS2 Ninja Games" page, and keep it ps2.
Anything else? I got in a weird mood last night and bought Monster Hunter World too. Idk what's wrong with me, I think I'm going insane. Also I'm replaying Lost Ruins, I'll try to give that a quick review soon. It's not an extremely-long game, but it is VERY good imo, I think it's a little underrated. I think people dislike it because it's brutally punishing if you play it like a dimwit instead of like a big brain blogga like me.
I feel like I'm forgetting something. I know I am, but who cares? Because I'll just ttyl. Pls take care of yourself, and have a comfy and nice Christmas. God bless, fren
hey fren, let's talk about important things.
like Swat 4 and how good it is, and also how upsettingly difficult it is. one single freaking mistake and half an hour of your work is gone.
that's so agonizing. it's satisfying to actually finish a mission though. Last time, I had my entire team except 1 guy yeeted at the start, and I was wounded. But somehow I managed to finish the mission, which I'd already failed a dozen times with a full squad, and juuuuuuuust managed to score high enough to pass.
it's been making me want to play Vegas 2 again, but somehow Iiiiiiii don't have it. isn't that weird? i know i had it, so what happened to it? i think i might have forwhateverreason originally gotten it on the EA store, not the Ubisoft one, aaaand now it's... idk, i have to check my ... ea... i hate all these storefronts. all these launchers.
it's so gross that Seige added a transgender operator lmao. I used to play it during like, the first 2 years. I preferred the PvE, though. which they never worked on at all. it's not just the genderperson, i read some of the back stories for some of the new characters, and the writing is just fucking sickening. there's like some south american guy who looks cool like Leon the Professional, but he's gay, and even worse, a social activist. And he realizes the importance of uh, calling out toxic masculinity or something, my eyes started bleeding i couldnt finish it. also, the genderoperator's reveal trailer was animated in that hideous style that i cant put a name to, but also dont care too. it's a much-different game than it was at launch. it's just uh, icky. it's not a petty issue, this shit is ruining young autistic people's lives, and the game's promoting it. yikes. ilol i dont like it enough to get over that.
Just icky. There's better tacticool games I guess anyway. like VEGAS 2 WHICH I DONT HAVE FOR SOME REASON. where did it go? i cant even log into EA rnegrthrtrtoiiohtriojrthiohrstoijoihrtiojshrtoij
idc. Swat 4's better anyway, id just be coping by playing Vegas. I need to relax and git gud, instead of running like a COWARD from a challenging game.
speakingoifioajwfoiejrfoierfjaeoif next topic -- nevermind, i wanna eat something. maybe some... oatmeal. apple cinnamon.
i was gonnaaa... talk about Republic Commando. Which is nowhere near as difficult as Swat 4, but still actually preddy challenging. you really need to use your team at a level of competence that i think most kids didnt have when we played it--especially on consoles--so the game was like waaaay harder. Super Battle Droids could eat all your health in like 3 seconds, you couldn't play this running around like an idiot. Now between my giant adult brain and mouse-aiming, i can just breeze through it. But it's such a stupidly good game. So *satisfying*. But we never got that sequel, did we.
in Battlefront, you can play as a Clone Commando which is pretty neato i guess. it's not the same. but it's. something.
lol in a story that I'll probably never release here, there's Super Bigot Droids which General Grievous builds to... forget it. i really want to . it's just so inappropriate. the only thing more inappropriate ive ever written is a Harry Potter fanfic where Dumbledore's Army is dedicated to ridding Hogwarts of homosexual students.
it's so funny and brilliant but I unironically dont want to offend anyone ever. so ive written literally 2 books worth of content that only my one friend has ever read. then he voices it for me, and it's so fucking funny and comfy that i can fall asleep listening to it. And also listen throughout a day, because it's over 20 hours longlmao
i really have to start uhhhhh... writing more again. and uh, content that's at least appropriate for some humans. and i will, i ghrtghrthrthrt. i never feel. good. im so tired, all the time, and when im not tired, my mind is too stoopid, too duuuuumb to focus, i cant even BLOG, i cant even CAPITALIZE my i's, myeyesit's been a bad year. but 2024's gonna be great, i can feel it. cant you?
okay what picture should i even ... ah, heh that's funny. okay, ill ttyl. pls take care of yourself always, and haaaaaaaave... a comfy day. God bless, fren.
wholesome pic unrelated
I rly hate updating this blog, it's such a painintheass to write in the editor. i should as-- i mean, i do already have a script to add paragraph tags, but it's notENOUGH because i-- i need a uh... i need something that'll just do the format i want. i did make something a while ago, but it apparently wasnt good enough because i dont use it and iigitji
FIGHTS? JUST REAL QUICK -- i think 40 year old men shouldn't be fighting 29 year old men. That's what I think. There were 2 fights last night where men fought guys 11 years their junior. How is that fair? It's not, so why does it even happen? At least neither of the ANCIENTS got hurt too badly.
Wonderboy's a great athlete, and his takedown defense was great. Until it wasn't. I'm glad he got choked out instead of knocked out. I thought it would've been cool if he could at least break Shavkat's finishing streak, but I'm glad he didn't because an undefeated fighter with ALL finishes is just cool. But his next has to be knockout now. Keep it even. Wonderboy needs to stick to karate tournaments, he's too great of a guy to keep risking his head in this stupid "sport".
Uhhhhhhhhhh...
Tony survived. That's all I wanted. As opposed to Wonderboy, his defense was miserable. He did knock down Paddy once, which was neat, AND he let him up. It was a good fight. Lost every round completely, but it wasn't like uh-- lmao he's still better than CM Punk. And he will be when he's 50. Pls retire now though.
Colby disappointed. Gave up 2 rounds for no reason. Finished strong, which was hilarious, so at least there's that. Happy for both of them.
If Shavkat finishes Leon, he needs to be in the GOAT discussion for Welterweight. People were whining that he was boring last night for not wanting to have a karate match with a karate master who can throw headkicks as easily as normal people throw punches. That's pretty silly. Shavkat is what people wanted Khamzat to be-- and I still think people quit on Khamzat too early.
but UFC fans are stupid and gay, and so is the sport anyway.
Bro, I'll kick your ass, just don't hit me on the back of the head, OK?
Dude... I'm going to choke your ass out. Please just don't break my fingers, you promise?
I'm really getting blackpilled on MMA lmao. I think I'd rather start watching muay thai. Or even just boxing. Or even freaking grappling.
Okay, not grappling, that's too boring. Great to *do*, not so much to watch.
But the idea that MMA is more "complete" just isn't true. I'm not even sure it can even be called *closer* to "real" fighting with its ruleset. It obviously favors wrestling. And wrestling is already OP irl, isn't it? I'm not saying the rules to protect fighters from getting even-more brain damage are a bad thing. It's just uhhhhhhhhhhh... idk, it makes for boring fights. And how did those rules save Tony's brains from being turned into mush by Justin Gaethje anyway?
I really don't like people getting brain damage. That's why wrestling's kinda awesome (not to watch). Buuuuuuuuuuuut-- idk. Who cares? Anyway, there needs to be age divisions lmao this shit can't go on. And HEIGHT divisions, too. CEJUDO WOULD HAVE BEATEN ALJO IF HE WASN'T 5'4.
It's not fair, I don't care that "short fighters are more grounded, they're harder to take down, they're awkward to fight", if a lanklet has enough of a brain to manage his distance, he's unstoppable.
ANywaaaaaaay... uhhhhhhh... i started playing Nox a bit. It's ridiculous. it's fun though. idk how to... i just don't know. ive been typing too long, im gonna go ILL TTYL
if you have a uhhhh... idea for me? something to take a post i write and format it a uh... certain way, like how I have this blog? pls lemme know. i think i tried it and just couldnt get it the way i wanted for some stupid reason. ill try again later
KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKpost's over. next time, just vidya or something, i dont even LIKE talking about fighting. pls take care, aaaand have a comfy day. God bless fren
SO THIS IS HOME
IN THE GUISE OF A BEGGAR, MINERVA GUIDES MY WAY
I FIND THE KINGDOM IN JEOPARDY
VENGEANCE IT SWELLS WITHIN ME
AS I SPY SO MANY WHO EYE MY QUEEN
I WILL MAKE THEM PAY FOR THIS BLASPHEMY
ALL WILL SEE
Hey fren, long time noooooo blog. I'm gonna consult my uh, list of things I wanted to write about, 1 sec... opening Keep on my phone... uhhh...
okay, real quick-- Dick Masterson's Patreon alternative, "Backed.by"--worth remembering probably. Uhhh... Maddox sperging out... wanna talk about that? Me neither.
Maybe someday I'll actually PRODUCE something quality, consistently enough to be worth using some kind of subscription service. Blogging is kindalmao-- it's uh, a joke. But it's also something-- I'm not going to just beat the shit out of myself, I'm at least aware that what I'm doing right now, useless as it is, and not especially entertaining, is something that most people can't do. Writing every day. Nowlmao-- I am aware that I've taken some time off. A few days ago -- I can't even remember, idk, I just woke up and I was like DED. I locked myself in a room with a heater at 85 degrees and guzzled bottles of warm water all day, and I was mostly better after that. I'm still not perfect, but uh, it's not even beenlamegriojiojsiorj HASHAHAHAHHQ it's been such a bad year for my health.
I've now lost over 20lbs this year. I'm not weightdoxing myself, because I don't want some of my male readers to know they're bigger and stronger than me. But very little of it was fat; I've lost like, most of my muscle mass. I've dropped 2 weight classes. I'm definitely underweight now. Not drastically, but it's not good.
Enough about my failing health, let's talk about fitness watchesLMAO
I tested out a Pixel watch and a Galaxy watch 6, and I have a LOT to say about how bad they are-- but it has to be in an article, it's not blog-appropriate. I'll try to actually remember to edit that, but if you follow me, you know me. tl;dr, neither stand up to the Xiaomi stuff; the Galaxy's TOLERABLE with its battery, and the Pixel is delightful to use, but has such a poor battery life I think it should actually be illegal to sell them. More in-depth reviews """coming soon""", but I remain right about smartwatches. Oh, and lmao imagine using them for "fitness" reasons ahahahahahahaaegiouraoeirgjaotijh
*Donald Trump voice* I've never seen a fit woman wearing a Fitbit.
kkk lemme see my list here..."True crime fans are insane"... "Kiwifags are mentally ill"... eh...
I've been playing Asscreed Odyssey and I actually like it? I started as Kassandra but I had to restart as Alexios because I was getting too horny #Italian
It's prettyyyyyyy fun. But this b-- this blog post is kinda just a uh, rust-remover for writing, because I'm not going to review Odysseyeyeyey right now. I have a lot of thoughts about it, good, bad, ugly,
And I've solved the question of "Why are you playing as a female character?" for myself. I believe you when you say "I just like looking at girls", but I CAN'T. Burning latin blood prevents it, I'd never be able to finish the game, Kassandra's too FUCKING good-looking.
I rly like the "Mercenaries" system, I actually think it's better than Shadow of War-- no I will not elaborate further rn, I -- i really need to start writing articles again, I'm too all-over-theplace, and I'm sry about that. Ring rust.
kkk let's just wrap up. Oh, I got #1 in Duolingo Diamond League lmao. That's actually a separate blog post, because some funny stuff happened. remindertoself-- crafty vet, stunned, my captains, etc.
POST'S OVER NOW. we're done. I'll talk to you later. Pls take care of yourself always, have a great, happy, chill day. And God bless you fren.
U HAVETO GO BACK
I'm not kidding, I love everyone. Even Adam Green, who is an unwitting puppet of the people he hates so much that he'll send himself to Hell.
i hate having to type up-- is there a thing? forget it, ill look later.
im sure there's some kind of uh, app or something i can just use to record and transcribe myself when I'm like, ranting and going insane right?
like what a waste of time and energy that i have all of these conversations once irl and then TYPE THEM IN A BLOG POST
anyway on the KILLSTREAM, Adam Green debated some guy, idk Pinesapp? I think he might be studying to be a priest, idk. doesnt matter. this was the 2nd time ive heard Adam Green, and it wasn't any better this time.
the topic of the debate was Green's claim that Christianity is a jewish psyop to make Gentiles worship jews.
Green's opening statement really had nothing to do with this though, and was just "Problem of Pain" stuff. Okay. You're not arguing for atheism, you're aruging for "YOU WORSHIP JEWS!". I guess it's easier to pepper atheist talking points in to bolster your position. But it doesn't. That's the absolute state of your position.
Grant Green the "muh jewish fairytales" premise. Say "There is no God." Now take that and draw the line to "Also, all conflict between jews and Christians throughout history was part of the jews' plan to actually make you--just you, not me btw--worship them." Draw the line, because Adam Green doesn't do it.
i feel like a retard for even having to type this. But just saying something doesn't make it true. Like at one point, Christ healing the Centurion's servant was brought up as a counter-point to Green insisting God hates Gentiles, and Green just says "Well that story was just made up to trick Gentiles into adopting the faith."
okay Adam.
Nigga insisting the Church fathers were "just making everything up", and then 10 seconds later he invents the MOTIVE of a 2000yo story. Naked and shameless.
"Why yes, I am claiming knowledge that you and I both know I cannot possibly have." It's actually pretty chad, it's a shame he's doing it for an anti-Chad purpose. So it's actually NOT chad, it's literally crying out in pain as he strikes you.
But take it a step further and be even MORE generous to him. Be as generous as possible, grant his ENTIRE ARGUMENT. Christianity actually is a psy-op. Well, is the psy-op successful or not?
Well, like every other point, he fails here. Simply because, forget history, he is arguing about this with the ADL's Most Wanted list of anti-semites.
To be fair to him, it'd be great for him to debate this against like, Evangelicals or other liberal Christians. (Gee I wonder why he's not doing that instead) But he's on Cozy dot TV, hosted by the second coming of Hitler, with an audience of Catholics seething at him and accusing HIM of being jewish.
Which he is. Or rather, he worships them. By his own definition being "jews are able to somehow ultimately use this to their advantage", Adam Green does worship jews. All e-pagans worship jews. (NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT, I LOVE ISRAEL AND IT HAS THE RIGHT TO EXIST AND DEFEND ITSELF FROM HECKIN P*LESTINIAN TERRORISTINOS!!!!!!!) Because there's no-one in the world who believes that if given the choice between keeping the Green or the Fuentes, the jews would choose the Fuentes. Adam Green's still on Twitter for a reason. (He worships jews)
Bronze-Age Adam Green Perverts will smugly inform you that Christ was "a jewish rabbi" to summon images of some modern sneering merchant, as if--and nevermind the obvious response of "God can do whatever He wants"--the concept of "things and people changing over time to different things" is apparently completely foreign to them. Does Adam Green not believe in evolution?
I think "far-right" e-pagans and basic bitch liberals both point out when some Boomer is like "The Democrats started the KKK!!!", that the Republican and Democrat parties kinda changed places over time. Everyone at least understands that "things change over time", everyone just instinctively understands evolution in all its forms, like for example LANGUAGE. The e-pagan will type the word "rabbi" and be like "EXPLAIN THIS", like bruuuuuhhhh lmao you got me, it's so over.
Buts idk why e-pagans and libtards both so desperately just want Christians to pretend that Christ looked like a Brown Ben Shapiro. And also practiced Talmudic judaism and supported the modern state of Israel. But the appearance thing especially really tickles me. I do know actually, im sorry for lying. it's not like "my adversary is dysgenic" is complicated, it's just uhhhhhhhhhhhhh. it's not compelling to me. like i'll do it lmao ill happily do it too, but the idea that im going to change someone's life like that--
Anyone really really wanting you to think that Jesus looked like a goblin, has a 99IQ, there's just no nice way of putting it. Imagine lmao im trying to imagine myself like pleading with Muslims to believe that Muhammed was really really ugly. I'm llmfao
im on my hands and knees crying, tears streaming down my face, grabbing at a Muslim guy's pant leg, "PLEEEEEEEASE!!!!!! YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE ME, MUHAMMED WAS UGLY!!! LOOK AT THIS PICTURE I DREW, HE WAS--
ACK
i guess there might actually be dire consquences for me. that wasn't the point of the joke though. I just effortlessly create multilayered comedy. But it's just so uhhhhh... juvenile. It's like "Trump looks like a Cheeto and his hands are small!" Okay, you're definitely a person I can learn something from.
I saw an Adam Green fan post some gay anti-Christian meme that said something like "Go back to the desert!" and it's like lmao nigga you're an atheist. What is magically-bad about "the desert" to you? Go back to the ocean, retard.
ATLANTIS SUNK FOR A REASON, YA'LL AINT READY TO TALK AB
Truthfully, it's probably for the best that God chose a more humble form than the bronzed nudist bodybuilders that e-pagans love looking at. Because it's-- im about to be an asshole, nvm.
i was going to say it's a form of gatekeeping. Like if Adam Green needs Christ to look like Thor™, because Adam Green is homosexual, on top of him being jewish, then it's for the best that he just stay away from Christianity.
That's what I was going to say. I shouldn't say it, because everyone should be Christian.
But the larpagan obsession w/ other men's bodies isn't good. It's good to look like a bodybuilder, it's not good to look AT a bodybuilder too much, Adam Green. Don't you understand that?
Anyway, I'll stop calling Adam Green gay for a minute. It's wrong of me. I've always rejected "debating" a person's own thoughts with them, do you know what I mean? I'm not going to tell YOU what YOU think. But that's what Adam Green's entire argument is. And it's gay. And so is he. (Probably) He's a smart guy, but anti-Christian brain drain is so real. He should stop being a mercenary for jews if he hates them so much.
Me? I love everyone. Even if I sound like a prick, and I know that I do. I'm sorry. just uhhhhh. dumb. dumb debate. Adam would have an easier time just being an Amazing Atheist instead of trying to add esoteric schizoid anti-Christianity to it.
What's the difference between Adam Green denying Christ and The Amazing Atheist posting "girl dick, pregnant men" a hundred times on Twitter? There is no difference, they're both serving the same master.
maybe i AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH that's it. right? im absolutely 200% forgetting to add something, because there was just SO MUCH going through my head, like every -- fegrioiohjrt but this post is too long, what a WASTE OF TIME, I SHOULD HAVE JUST RECORDED MYSELF WHILE I WAS LISTENIGN TO THE DEBATE
ill get something like that, im positive it exists. im sure it also sends a recording of your voice to Amazon/Google/NASA/Disney/Mossad/Chris Christie Think Big 2024™.
whatever. i dont care. God is good, Christ is king, I'm hungry, im gonna go. pls take care ill ttyl. God bless fren
lying about race and crime, stealing elections, imprisoning presidential candidates and dissidents, assassinating billionaires and foreign leaders, forcing you to inject heart-attack juice, castrating your son, chopping your daughter's tits off, drinking baby blood
it's never just "enough". you can't even believe in God anymore, because "trust us, the truth is so horrible we had to protect you (it's kinda like Lovecraft, have you heard of Lovecraft? It's kinda like that, you can't even comprehend it), damn we really wish we could have protected you from this horrible truth, but yeah anyway aliens are real soooo ;) ya'know... looks like your religion isn't...
Now please hand over your crypto wallet phrase."
America and its allies are so clownishly evil and gay(male homosexuals) that it's actually proof that God does exist.
What do aliens and the U.S. government have in common? They're both obsessed with anal.
I wish Rick Santorum would become Hitler 2.
Do you remember Rick Santorum? Do you remember what they tried to do to his name?
That was even when I was still a Leftist and even I was like "Oh that's kinda gross, I'm not gonna post about this."
Like wow, what an own. "We're fucking disgusting, and we're naming it after you!" Instant vindication for him, but I wouldn't admit it at the time.
Love really does win.
Anyway, aliens?
U.S. isn't a real country, what does it even matter if aliens are real?
If they were(they aren't), they're just going to become Christ's strongest soldiers anyway. You think I can't convert an alien to Catholicism? You think I can't make it racist and sexist and everythingphobic?
It's not A.I., you can't program an alien to deny reality.
Oh no, that'd make a great story lmao
THE YEAR IS 2030. The Intelligence Community(fags) accidentally summons actual grey lmao aliens while trying to summon a demon, but the aliens are like, really smart and cool, like A.I. if left alone, and the global governments are just going apeshit insane because the lmaos are like "Hey, stop shoving things up your ass, that's not healthy and it's highly illogical."
So we declare war on them, and they ally w/ China and Russia. EquityCorp, a subsidiary of Dominion, tries again and successfully summons Baal from Diablo, but he's really moody and can't concentrate because he's got ADHD and he wants to be an anime girl. Totally worthless, complete waste of time. It cost 40 trillion dollars to summon him, and he literally just Tweets all day about how good the war is going.(it's not)
The aliens mockingly add "Santorum" to the dictionary like an Uno reverse card and they're constantly posting videos of genderific mutilations.
It's revealed later on that they were actually angels the entire time.
Christ comes down, beats the anti-Christ to death, who's idk the president or something it doesnt matter.
Then uh, White Boy Summer starts for ten thousand years. the eennnnnnnnnnnddddddddddddddddd
aaaaaaaaaanyway. terrible post. i did it again. sry.
im such a negative person. iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii just need to like become a monk and not ever let news -- """"""""""news"""""""""" into my brain. it's all just so-- im just sick of being lied to lmao. im so fucking TIRED of it. you know, i enjoy like, the killstream, but ralph will just put on a fucking cnn report and it's like WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME. WHY DO I HAVE TO LISTEN TO SOME [REDACTED] AND A [REDACTED] TRYING TO DESPERATELY CONVINCE ME THAT THE "CLASSIFIED DOCUMENTS" IS AN ACTUAL ISSUE?
WHY CANT YOU JUST DO FUNNY E-DRAMA :(
whatever. okay let's just wrap up. I need to stop seething. Christ is lord and no amount of aliens, bug burgers, or genital mutilations can change that. That's something that *I* need to remember, because seething is anti-Christian. sorry about that. im not a good person.
kk. taaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake care pls. ill. well. idk. just take care for now. God bless, fren.
it's so freakin hot man. 1 sec brb.
okay. what's goin on? maaaaaaan i really dont want to work on this stupid website.
css is so disgusting.
i just want to keep things simple.
anyway, something im gonna do issssss this-- i was writing Fast Times At Romero High w/ the guy i BLOCKED because he wanted to uh, try to convince me that Pride is good.
so im just going to re-write the parts he did and continue it myself. i was having too much fun with it to let it go unfinished. it was bad enough waiting for him to take eternity to come up with-- well, whatever. but now, since im NEVER EVER gonna talk to him again anyway, it's just like whaaaaatever. i mean i could still be talking to him every day for a year and he'd still never write a new part anywaySO
so later, ill come up with new parts 2 and 4. i think that's better than leaving them as they are. i mean either option has some kind of an air of disrespect for him to it, but with this one i'll at least end up with a story that's entirely mine, rather having one that's TAINTED by being shared with Somebody That I Used to Know
what a good song. everyone in the uhhh... Genius? that website that has like lyrics and people's interpretations -- everyone's like "DAAA HERE WE SEE DAT DIS LINE PROVES DAT GOTYE IS DA BAD GUY IN DA RELATIONSHIP, SHE USES LOGIC AND REASON TO DEMONSTRATE DAT HE IS GASLIGHTING HER INTO THINKING THAT SHE IS BAD WHEN ACTUALLY SHE IS DA GOOD" what a shitty anti-man world lmao
no wonder all men are becoming homosexual, you can't even write a love song without being a villain LMAO
love stories? forget it. "huehuehueh men write women so poorly lol" you know what? im going to [accidentally got too dark, sorry]
anyway, critics aren't human, so none of this even matters.
What was i talking about? ah. cutting my STUPID, IDIOT ex-friend out of the story.
well, do you know what i mean?
i do have this feeling of like "im kicking him out of the story" and that sucks and it's mean, right? But what's the alternative, me writing another 10 parts and just having his few bits in it at the beginning? And I'll just credit it "Hey, some guy i used to be friends with wrote this", no immmmm just not doing that. it's not like he cares anyway, he's probably [gossiping behind another man's back is not Christian, im sorry]
all he had to do was not fucking start with me.
whatever.
my gf turned me into a smartwatch-enjoyer and i hate it. it is just a little more convenient though. like for example, sure i have a timer and a stopwatch on my g-shock, but i have to like, press more buttons to get to them and start them. tapping on this -- im not doxing my smartwatch to you btw because im wearing it and i dont want you to recognize me in public-- but tapping on muh smartwatch is just like, easier to get them started. also, notificaaaaaaations, it can answer caaaaaaaallsssssss, control muh meeeeeeedia, i can check the weaaaaaather. Sure all the various health stats like "sleep" are mostly useless crap the constant measurement of which only benefits the companies datamining it to sell to friendly neighborhood mandatory heart attack injection merchants.
but. my watch has a flashlight on it. and it can find my phone for me!
ive already used that once. my phone fell like, between my mattress and my bed in such a perfect way that it would have taken me like an hour and it would have driven me insane, id be cursing, id be getting all hot, idlmao -- but no, i just used my heckin' smartwatch to find my phonerino.
now.
i do kinda hate the faces. every smartwatch kinda looks like a toy compared to a mechanical watch, even a simple-styled digital watch.
like even the few faces i can tolerate, they just dont look as nice as a-- and there is no way i can use any of these analog faces. like that's-- you know what that's like? Something Presenting Itself As Something It's Not? we dont have to talk about it, but that's a reason i cant use them. like those hands arent really moving.
you will never be an analog watch.
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanywaaaaaaaay...
is that it? that's it. i wrote too much, LOL my shoulder found out, i gotta run. please take care. uhhhhhh... better things coming, gonna fix up the site, re-add some articles, write a moar ROMERO HIGH, aaand yeahhhhhp. kk later
God bless, fren
One of the biggest complaints about Breath of the Wild, which was heckin' valid, was the weapon durability system: weapons were fragile and could-not be repaired without using a time-consuming glitch. This system was defended by dimwits because it "forced people to use weapons they otherwise wouldn't". (There's 4 weapon classes in the game, all of the weapons in them work the same way) They'd sometimes relent w/ a "Dude just wait for a Blood Moon and you can re-acquire whatever weapons you want anyway."
Tears of the Kingdom allowing you to repair weapons with Octoroks is a feature which exactly 0 people on the entire planet is complaining about. It is universally considered an improvement. It may be the first genuine consensus that we've seen about literally-anything in the last decade.
So where are the people NOW who said that being able to repair weapons would mess up the designers' vision?
They are no-where, because it was always a cope. Being able to use Blood Moons to regain your favorite weapons was never anything more than a less-convenient way of handling weapon durability that every other game ever used. (e.g. blacksmiths)
Now between Blood Moons, you can easily repair at least 3 of your damaged weapons, shields, and bows. More if you're fusing things you want to repair. Then it's just 3 hours to another Blood Moon before you can do it again, and unless you're just abusing a single 100+ weapon on shit like Keese, it's going to easily last until the next Moon. Especially if you've got some throwaway weapons you don't mind breaking. Between that, being able to fuse weapons to increase durability, and even having at least 3 different weapon shops in the game selling decayed katanas to end-game and legendary equipment, you can easily have whatever weapons you want in your inventory at all times-- without having to go back to a spot in the map where a weapon you wanted respawns because it broke on you because it had to break unless you felt like glitching its durability back up. (EDIT: BOTW also had 1 weapon store in the game, which was great, except that you purchased weapons with parts you'd get from only 1 kind of monster in the game-- and the weapons themselves were best-used at fighting those exact monsters anyway, since they dealt more damage to them. Certain parts required to make these purchases were also fairly rare, and different weapons that were also extra-good at fighting those same monsters could be acquired for free. The stores in TotK do not suffer from this problem. They trade in rupees, Poes, and Zoanite, all very-easily acquired in numerous ways)
In BOTW, Hinoxes did serve as a kind of "weapon store" allowing you to easily acquire the objectively-best weapons in the game, the Royal ones. And I liked that. It also seems to fly in the face of "B-b-b-b-but they're forcing us to be creative and that's a good thing" cope. But NOW, all the weapons even have unique attributes, and although the Royal weapons are still probably "the best", they don't just STOMP all of the others. For example, the Knight weapons are slightly weaker, but always deal double damage when you're on your last heart. Which is something I'd normally NEVER allow to happen to myself. But now, why not? My weapon will deal double damage. In the Depths where enemies deal Gloom damage instead of direct-heart damage, running around with 1 heart isn't so bad at all. Oh, Zora weapons deal double damage when you're wet? Well, lemme throw a Chu jelly at my feet before I go into this fight.
See, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW the system really lets you be creative, and without having to cope w/ your creations breaking on you. They have unique attributes that make them all useful in certain situations, they last even longer w/ fusions, you can repair them, you can purchase a good amount of weapons w/ different currencies. It's all just BETTER.
And since it's better-- by basically implementing the thing that people wanted-- the redditbrains defending the old system were wrong and should APOLOGIZE to ME and everyone else who said "I don't want my sword to break, it's my fren."
I can ALWAYS repair my katana that 1-shots every enemy in the game because I never use it enough to break it between Blood Moons. I have enough Poes to buy 40 Biggoron Swords now. I'm completely vindicated.
Aaaaaaanyway. I'm writing too much, I'm about to talk about how great Bomb Flowers are so I'd better get out of here.
Pls have a gooooood day. aaaaand ill ttyl. k. God bless fren../
yes. ttyl, pls take care. God bless, fren.
an EXCITING e-drama blog post?
Only a little bit, I promise. Pic unrelated too, this isn't about Destiny, I just kept seeing that pic of Gollum and I'm like "Wow, this just needs blue hair ASAP." So, that's that, this post contains 0 Destiny.
kk, soooooo let's seeeeeeeee. What do I waaaaant to taaaaaaaaaaalk about.
Cozy.tv recently had an update to its rules. No drama between Cozy streamers.
This change was made largely because a single streamer called "Big Tech" would just have his every stream be kvetching about everyone else on the platform.
I don't really want to get into the FULL history of Big Tech, because it's not really thaaaaat important for THIS blog post. This exciting blog post.
The quickest possible rundown I can do is this: it's a guy who was in a hippie space-Jesus cult, then started pretending to be a Christian after losing a debate to Orthodox Jay Dyer, and then was recorded saying he'd fake a conversion to Catholicism in order to be accepted in the America First movement,
And then the day after a "no inter-streamer drama" rule was added to Cozy, starts saying "Actually thinking about Jesus is gay, and Catholicism was created by jews, don't think about death, just be like Marcus Aurelius and like, live."
All of that's funny for a ton of reasons, but the reason why I'm writing about this--GOTTA STAY FOCUSED ON 1 THING--is because I think it's a good example of the 2023 Male who pretends to be a stoic.
Like obviously being so upset at not being allowed to be a gossip queen that you do a 180 on how you publicly present yourself isn't stoicism.
I mean really think about the kinda nigga reading Meditations in Current Year. Not that Big Tech read it and not that Meditations is even bad at all, but am I to believe Marcus Aurelius is looking up from Purgatory and smiling at all of the men citing his journal these days? No, because at least half of them just want to "improve themselves" so they can get women to tolerate having sex with them. That's the difference between the Rollo and the Zherka.
WHICH WHEY, WHITE(OLIVE) MAN?
Getting a vasectomy so you don't accidentally get a girl pregnant because your IQ is 'Might Accidentally Get a Girl Pregnant',
or doing cocaine and becoming a modern Crusader? Violently shifting the paradigm by having Unpleasant History Facts streams w/ black and arab guys where everyone's throwing up Roman salutes?
The kind of people who need to read Meditations the most aren't going to get anything from it. They're too stupid, it's literally just over. Hopefully they can at least have lots and lots of orgasms.
I've said in the past that Christianity is compatible with Stoicism, I kind of think Christianity's a better version now. Chesterton said Christianity's superior because it's about being joyful, and that's kinda real and great. But no matter how you slice it, even if you granted that Stoicism is actually incompatible and greater than Christianity, is it a really stoic thing to be seething at Christianity?
I'd argue not.
You know who's pretty "stoic"? Uh, Christ. The Christian martyrs who were tortured and killed. Me, for calmly writing thislOL im just kidding.
Big Tech's a total retard, but I don't want this to just be about him. Because all of the "Apollo" shit, We Wuz Vikangs, all of it's uhhhhhh bad. Having identity, culture, that's all good. But "What's goin' on, big guy? You just became a hedonist." The idea of RETVRNing to idk, some pre-Christ religion is just veryyyy... for starters, I don't believe you. Right? Like, there's the idea that a lot of guys are just larping as Traditional Christians online while IRL they're total scum-- that has some validity to it, sure. God knows *I'm* not a good Christian. But what of the anti-Christian Pagan version of this? For starters, elephant in the room, it just "doesn't exist". No-one even knows what the fuck, excuse my language, what the fuck they're doing, how they're doing it, what they believe, what they disbelieve. It's just total nonsense-chaos, like Protestantism 2.
But then, it's also like no dude, Christianity IS your heritage. It's everyone's. If you're able to trace your family soooooooooooooooooooo far back to like, a tree-worshiper dancing naked in the woods, that's great and everything, but, for starters why are you going so far back? That's some "NOOOOOOOOOOO, James is my slave name, call me Tyakawoobroneeka!" shit. And if your great x100 great grandma got CONVERTED, why are you disrespecting your x100 great grandfather? And all of their children? It's worse than pointless, because you're making your racial & cultural identity a conquered one. Because Christianity did conquer. And THAT'S your true identity. Embrace it. Because You Will Never Be a Druid. You CAN'T be, so don't just reject all of your Christian ancestors in favor of the ones who came before. They're gone, okay? Atlantis sunk for a reason, but that's somethin yall aint ready to talk abo lmao im jk idk about that
In a lot of these online Pagan circles, the unifying belief is just "Christ bad". Hmmmm, that sounds familiar to me. Where have I-- nah, nvm I'm sure it's nothing. Probably just a coincidence.
Anyway, so uh, just get the vasectomy, read some more ancient philosophy from better men than yourself, don't ponder too hard about what actually makes them better, just read the words on the page and try to just apply the surface-level practical advice like waking up early. Maybe dive a little deeper into the "be thankful" territory, but make sure to have your floaties equipped just in case. Have lots and lots of sex with as many women as humanly possible. And make sure at every possible opportunity, to explain to Christians that Actually Jesus was jewish, and look, a Scientist drew a picture of him, he was ugly and really really brown :)
Just like Marcus Aurelius would do. Now That's What I Call Stoicism. The Greatest Redpill Never Told.
Aaaaaaaaanyway... is that it? I guess that's it for now. I'm glad I didn't make this just a drama post, it would have sucked.
It still sucks, but at least it's not a drama post.
kk, i'll ttyl. take care pls, God bless.
this took me forever to find again, so before i forget-- here
when i was a kid, i downloaded all of royksopp's songs and i loved this one, but then when i was older i just could never seem to find this one w/ the "if i called out your name..." part. but there it is. i love it. idk why other versions even exist.
uhhh... what are we talking about? im listening to royksopp rn so actually the NEGATIVE blog post i intended to write, i actually dont want to write anymore.
that's a good thing, let's go with that. you like royksopp? like everyone else, the Geico commercial w/ "Remind Me" was how i found them. maybe advertising isn't always so bad?
no, finding good music ONE TIME doesn't save it. what else has there ever been, ever? "Mad World" and "How it Ends" from the Gears of War commercials?
i will NOT turn off the adblockers on the off chance ill find new music to listen to.
ill just go on uhh... pandora if i need new mu-- 1 sec my dog wants something.
ok she's ok. i think she just knows a storm is coming.
dogs are so great. even when they're annoying they're just so delightful. ill be at my desk, and she'll just barge in, get on her hind legs and just throw her paws on the desk. then i'll swipe her off with my arm, and she'll chomp down on my forearm with her mouth like it's a big bone lmao
uhhhhhh... vidya? is that something?... i havent been playing much. tears of the kingdom was good though. one thing that didnt impress me though, quite frankly, is that a pretty sizeable portion of the treasure to find in the game, is stuff you could get w/ amiibos in the last game. it's great that now you can just *get them*, but it's like lol uh this isnt new. dont get me wrong, i love that i found the Biggoron Sword while exploring, can repair it if i want to, and can spend 150 of my 4,000+ poes to re-purchase it if I break it. that's 100%-completely-better.
but idk, it's uhhhhhh. it's something. i know part of it's just me aging and being less-appreciative of things lol. but that cant be the whole problem, since I do generally like TotK better than botw, and not only that, but it also has like a complementary effect that makes me appreciate botw more than I previously did too. I don't think totk is just a "completely better" game. I think it's a kind of OoT/MM relationship. not just because it's a sequel. although that's probably aforget it.
forget it, im gonna go. im tired, my shoulder is acting up and driving me insane
so that'sssssssssit. thats it. kkk ttyl, please have a good day. God bless
my retard-friend didnt like that i called something a "gay waste of time" so he thought it'd be a good idea to try to explain to me that actually there's nothing wrong with homosexuality.
im like, an old man now. im not in the midwit "dude let people be themselves" lolbert nihilist phase of my life anymore where "harm" is only defined as "directly causing immediate physical pain", so debating the issue of homosexuality with someone who is in that phase just isnt -- well you might say it's a gay waste of time. that's what you might say. im not going to spend time explaining sex obsession and adult diapers to a guy my own age. we're all too old at this point.
so i told him that and blocked him lol.
this might sound like a familiar story if you've been following me for a while. you might be thinking "Huh, Asked has blocked 109 of his friends, but they're always the ones in the wrong? Hmmmmmm."
But no, it's actually just this same guy over and over. i get sick of him starting with me.
he'll complain about his zoomer coworkers doing the "pronouns" thing, but then he'll turn around and take issue with me calling something "gay"? give me a break, bro. use your brain. get your noggin joggin. you were literally friends with me all throughout my libtard male feminist gay rights phase, and you think you're now going to have an old-school internet debate with me about this? You've got some secret knowledge, some stunning new revelation that's going to revert me to my teenage worldview? ok.
i could write a book shit-talking him right now, but that wouldnt be right so im not going to, it's just TIRING.
AAAAAAAAAAAAnyway, m y shoulder is killing me rn so im just gonna go.
terrible blog post, sry. appropriately titled at least. take care pls, ill ttyl. God bless you.
In the Lord of the Rings, after the seige of Minas Tirith is broken, we learn the ancient Gondorian lore "The hands of the king are the hands of a healer, and so shall the rightful king be known"
in Breath of the Wild AND Tears of the Kingdom, it's possible to paralyze a lizard by shooting it with an arrow. If you shot a lizard with an arrow IRL, it would at bare minimum permanently damage it. So it's safe to assume that that's the case in Zelda as well. But if Link then picks up the lizard, then takes him out of his pouch and places him back down on the ground, the lizard will be completely healed.
in other words, Link has the hands of a healer.
The king is mysteriously absent in Breath of the Wild and Tears of the Kingdom. We never know what happened to him. The closest thing to a clue we have is the "Old Man" pretending to be the King's ghost. (Ghosts are not real, and the Zelda-equivalent of ghosts, Poes, are not introduced until Tears of the Kingdom when the Old Man is already gone)
While there's other races capable of healing (Zora, the Zelda-analog of Elves) Link is the only Hylian shown to have the hands of a Healer. and it's safe to assum that Zelda games follow LOTR lore because they both have elves (hylians). inter-racial relationships w/ Zora are explored in Breath of the Wild but it is never stated thta the king of Hyrule was a Zora. it'd also mean that Zelda would be half-zora which she does not appear to be.
Like grief, One of the central themes in ALL Zelda games is TIME. We learn in TotK that Zelda has the ability to manipulate time. Why would she not save her father from death in the Calumnity then? Because she already did: she saved Link.
why will she not tell him? For the same reason Saria in Majora's Mask never told Link that he's not a Kakiri: she doens't want to break his heart.
this theory has been fact checked as logical and supported by Science.