Dead Man Perspective

A review of The Dead Man and Other Horror Stories by Gene Wolfe

Originally a series of blog posts from the beginning of July to the beginning of August 2025.

get a copy & read along with me

I

The Dead Man and Other Horror Stories is another fun collection of Gene Wolfe stories.

Wanna hear about them? SPOILERSS obviously, I hope you'll read them for yourself though.

Let's see… there's

The Dead Man

Uhhh, some tribal guy gets dragged underwater by an alligator (or crocodile idr) and he wakes up in its den. I guess it was waiting for him to start rotting. He drags his ass back home and his family is spooked and a shaman tells them to ignore him.

I like to think he's alive.

It was short but pretty neato–interesting description of what he was experiencing when he was underwater.

The Hero as Werwolf

I've gone over this from the last Wolfe collection, so I won't say much here.

Something I might have forgotten previously was that there may be like upright-walking sentient dog-people, and probably other animal people. So, furries rejoice.

I'd like to just reiterate that it has the best depiction of courtship perhaps ever written.

>tfw no feral gf

Many Mansions

This sounds like it's from the Bible, right? "In my Father's house are many mansions"

Maybe it is, but basically there's these old houses that move around on their own. But not on their own ACKSHUALLY, they have people hooked up into them controlling them. The one in the story is being controlled by like the great-aunt of the characters.

There's been some kind of war, and uh… there's an army, or even an entire society of women born in artificial tubes, and they're like HELL BENT  on destroying all of these old houses, and maybe even all traces of old society in the first place.

Is this SYMBOLIC of FEMINISM? Uhhhhh, idk maybe. Lemme think about it… the houses hide, they seem to more typically appear to people who are intoxicated or maybe people who are searching for shelter, and people who FIND them tend to not want to LEAVE them,

A comrade of the uh… military girl in the story went missing before her–implied to have found one of these mansions, these HOMES, and now she doesn't want to be "found"

Maybe the houses represent the family unit. Something like that. It's really good.

It ends with the girl being spooked away when she realizes she's standing in one of those houses asking about the missing soldiergirl.

The family of the house weren't up to no good or anything–they were probably up to good– but they decide they'll pack up and move on so the girl doesn't come back with fire support to kill them.

The Detective of Dreams

I wrote a bit about this before and I didn't want to spoil it, and I still don't but here it is anyway: the mysterious man the characters are dreaming of is Christ, and the dreams are scary to them because they're reflections of themselves or their loved ones. A bookworm femcel can't attend a wedding that Christ is at because she's not dressed appropriately–because she hasn't dressed herself appropriately, like she doesn't IRL as a voluntary foreveralone. A businessman has his impossible debt forgiven by God only to immediately demand payment from another man, and a noblewoman has a nightmare that her husband is having Christ executed even though she begs him not to, and when the bullets fly, it's her husband who falls dead.

Anyway since all of these people are certain they've seen this man in their dreams before, the DETECTIVE figures out where all of their usual paths intersect, and he waits around hoping to find someone that matches their description of the Man in their dreams.

Then he starts laughing because he looks up and sees the Church.

The businessman might have the scariest dream because his are getting *progressively worse* with him waking up as another "employee" of Christ's enters the room to collect him after he won't forgive his own debtor. It's an employee who works in the lower floors of the house, and more and more of his arm can be seen each time.

I think the detective will be able to help them now.

Redbeard

I can't really remember, can I…

Why was his beard red… it was a man who killed himself, slashing his own throat.

He was a serial killer, then… after his wife–ah, hmm…

Idk, it was sad. I can't remember too much, basically his wife killed herself too, years later, and her son with her second husband is the one telling the story and wondering why she did it. IIRC it might have posed a question of familial responsibility, you know? Like if one of our loved ones does something bad, are we really not AT ALL responsible? It's rough.

In the House of Gingerbread

I hate witches.

A kind of retelling of Hansel and Gretel with the witch appearing very innocent and believable throughout the story, right up to the end when she's thinking that she'll need to castrate Henry soon or else his testicles will spoil the meat.

I'd like to think that the detective (or the Woodcutter as the House calls him) will end up killing her ;_; but it ends with her surviving Henry and Gail trying to microwave her because they think she killed their father(and they're right) and now she has the upper hand on them.

FOR NOW.

You stupid witch, you're not outsmarting Detective Dick Price AND Henry and Gail, you're COOKED.

It was reeeeeally good, you start out immediately suspicious of her, she gets you to relax, and then BAM she's planning on sneaking a radioactive capsule between Henry's legs when he's asleep.

You know, in The Hero as Werwolf, the hero *also* prefers to eat younger males for the same reason.

The Other Dead Man

Uhhhh space ship gets damaged, a lot of the crew dies, including the Captain.

Captain's not really dead. Actually he IS, probably, but the AI running the ship has like reanimated his body with some sort of consciousness and he's hell bent on completing the mission–which is basically impossible since the ship's been damaged.

Our protag's the #2 who gets waken up by his waifu from his medical stasis pod to try to save the remaining crew from the captain. He manages to do it, blasting him out into space.

Happy ending, until a crewman hands him a mirror. Now we know why waifu screamed when he tried kissing her earlier.

You think the title is referencing the first "Dead Man" story, but no, it's because he *is* the other dead man besides the Captain.

It's kinda sad tbh, and we don't know how dead he really even is, since even though he apparently *looks dead*, he's still *himself* unlike the Captain was. Maybe I can cope and pretend he'll be alright after al– no, he should just accept it and so should I.

The Friendship Light

Some autistic asshole makes a pact with an owl demon to kill his brother-in-law.

It's really good actually, but I'm running out of energy rn

The Haunted Boardinghouse

Might as well call this The Other Other Dead Man

Some nerd gets a job opportunity to be master of a library at a strange town 50ish miles away

Heeee gets thet job, heeeee becomes a much-loved professor, he meets a CUTE GIRL

But the cute girl is married. Well, maybe. Actually she's not, I take that back, he just thought she was– uh… anyway, he has a great time there. He's living the dream.

But he's dead.

But I swelmao I promise it's not lame, I know that by this point "AND HE WAS DEAD THE WHOLE TIME!!!" is tired, but Wolfe has a really neat way of blending uh… you'd say "real and unreal" and say it's an UNRELIABLE NARRATOR, but it's closer to life and death I think. Like he might as well NOT be dead.

This is a very STRANGE town.

Also the girl might be an angel. Well, maybe. She does wake him up with sex at one point.

There are very few things in life more wonderful than a girl taking advantage of you when you're half-awake. It's so fucking–excuse my language, it's like fucking annoying, but it's so

Lord of  the Land

This is as far as I've gotten. A guy's writing a book of myths and he's interviewing an old man in Appalachia Did i spell that right?

Man I'm so good.

So he's interviewing an old man who tells him the story of something called the "soul-sucker" that he'd once seen as a kid, and now he's staying the night at the old man's house and reading some books. He thinks the soul-sucker might be related to… not Anubis, but… An-h… dammit 1 sec…

Okay Anuat. Who I guess *is* Anubis, but he's different in the story. Or rather, he's maybe the same but– you know what I mean.

Here was a five-thousand-year old myth that paralleled the soul-sucker in function. Nor was it certain by any means that the similarity was merely coincidental. That the folklore of the Appalchians could have been influenced by the occult beliefs of modern Egypt was wildly improbable, but by no means impossible.

Then he starts thinking of uhhhhhh… you know, places and times where Americans could have visited Egypt or vice versa.

After the Civil War the United States Army had imported not only camels but camel drivers from Egypt.

So he's not just ALL IN on this "soul-sucker" creature, you know, he's trying to rationalize it.

But I think the old man really did see it.

And it wouldn't be a Gene Wolfe story without a beautiful woman. But writerbro ISN'T going to have her?! She wanted to run away with him but he SAID NO?!

In the tub he told himself that he had been a fool. What was it the girl in his last class had called him? A hopeless romantic. He could have enjoyed an attractive young woman that night (and it had been months since he had slept with a woman) and saved her from… what? A beating by her father? There had been no bruises on her bare arms, and he had noticed no missing teeth. That delicate nose had never been broken, surely.

He could have enjoyed the night with a very pretty young woman–for whom he would have felt responsible afterward, for the remainder of his life. He pictured the reference in The Journal of American Folklore: "Collected by Dr. Samuel Cooper, U.Neb., from Hopkin Thacker, 73, whose granddaughter Dr. Cooper seduced and abandoned.

But what's she so scared of?

II

Lord of the Land

Ended with a bit of a bummer.

Girl's dad was possessed by the soul-sucker.

Our hero deduces–using science, logic, and reason, that it's some kind of cuttlefish(Lovecraftian maybe, but he doesn't know that, we do) that enters into your mouth.

How does he know? It sees it up close when Dad's on top of him trying to suck his soul out. He he originally believes to be GRAVE WORMS, he sees are in fact TENTACLES. #HPLongbottom

Now here's something interesting. Is it REALLY a SOUL sucker?

I read an interesting review of the story by 2 well-educated female(doesn't matter, all lit majors are bad I'm just being sexist for fun) lit majors. Theylmao They were able to point out, brilliantly and ethically, that it's dangerous to write about aliens in Egypt because you might racistly steal the achievement of the pyramids from the Egyptians and give it to aliens.

That had literally-zero to do with the story beyond "The soul-sucker seems like Anubis", but they pointed it out anyway just to be safe. Arguably this is in itself racist by conflating all of Egyptian culture to the building of the pyramids, but I don't care about racism.

I'm going to talk at you about some (I think) interesting questions I have about the actual story. Questions the Two People Who Study Literature For A Living didn't think to ask.

Uhh… what was the first question? Oh yeah, "is it a SOUL sucker?"

When our Bro's having his "soul sucked" by the Dad, it feels like for the first time in his life he realizes that he has a soul and it's coming up to his throat. But what's actually happening? It's the alien squid trying to get into his mouth.

It's not IMPOSSIBLE that Wolfe, a Catholic who acknowledges souls as real, would allow some alien squid to steal someone's soul, but how probable is it really that he'd write that?

I think it's possible that it was just a kind of hypnosis to get him to open his mouth. Isn't that what it would feel like anyway if something's mentally-forcing you to open your mouth? Your heart, or your soul, coming up your throat?

The parasite feeds on CARRION, right?--sorry, idk why I'm asking you. I'm TELLING you that being infected causes you to eat corpses. Okay, so do uh, vultures. Hyenas. Jackals(where the soul-sucker's link to Anubis came from, Bro even suspects it–if there's only one–first infected a jackal)

But a person's soul doesn't remain inside their corpse. What good would it do to eat corpses if you're after souls? I'll answer my own question: Without bothering to look it up to make sure I'm right, Egyptians believed that the soul remained with the body, right? At least for some time? So a jackal feeding on a body would indeed be a soul-sucker, and when the story and the parasite came to America, the name stuck because why wouldn't it? What nerd is going to say "Erm, ackshually it only eats corpses!" in regards to an entity they don't even believe exists in the first place? Well maybe now our Protagonist Bro will be that nerd.

Anyway, Grandpa heroically saved Bro by killing Dad–his own son, or what was left of him.

Bro looks in Dad's mouth, and sees that the "cuttlefish" is already gone. It's supposed to infect whoever kills the current host, so it must be hunting for Gramps now, right?

Girl's crying, kisses her Dad one last time. Bro turns back around after a few seconds and it's no-longer the innocent kiss you give a dead relative, she's like French kissing him in ecstasy.

Seems like the parasite had just been hiding down his throat instead of having left.

Bro's driving two days later and "sees that kiss in every shadow."

(The "whoever killed it gets infected" rule might have come from the killer traditionally just happening to be the one who'd be nearest the body for the squid to easily infect)

You know, she SAVED him by locking him inside his room. But she was too generous and slipped the key under so he could let himself out. Considering the Dad tricked him into opening the door, that was probably a big mistake, she should have just locked him in completely.

Why'd she want to bone him, too? Would that have saved him somehow–like the Dad wouldn't target him if he was with her, obviously there's still *something* of Dad left because he doesn't attack his own daughter and father–or did she just want to use him before her Dad got to him? Just because she was THAT HORNY? No, I don't buy that. She did WANT to save him, otherwise she wouldn't have locked him in his room.

These are all questions that come to mind, I feel, when you're not worried about how racist it could hypothetically be if you write about aliens that may have existed in Egypt.

And SO HE'LL "FEEL RESPONSIBLE FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE" IF HE HAS SEX WITH HER, BUT NOT IF HE LETS HER BE INFECTED BY A PARASITE THAT'LL MAKE HER EAT CORPSES? BULLSHIT, GO BACK THERE AND SAVE HER! ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS PULL THE  FREAKIN SQUID OUT OF HER MOUTH

No, idk, it might be impossible. Like if it can cause hallucinations to hunt its prey of course it'll be able to defend itself. Anyway I'm yapping all over the place I'm sorry. It's a great story.

And the moral is that if a mysterious farmgirl wants to have sex with you, just do i–okay that's not a good moral. He should have taken her away then! He didn't HAVE to have premarital sex w–the moral is if a girl is coming on to you in a very "get me out of here" kinda way, just get her out. Then marry. Then plap.

Anyway, the ending's not even that badlmao wanna know why? I'll TELL YOU. Uh… she'll be fine lmao like I'm coping right now, but apparently her Dad managed to live a semi-normal life with a corpse-eating parasite from the stars inside him. She still has Gramps with her, too. And she– hmm… look, I think she'll be able to live a full, happy life. She'll just have to go ghoul every once in a while. At least she still has her soul, since I am asserting it doesn't steal your soul.

The Seraph from its Sepulcher

Uhhhhh… archeologist visits a yuge church on another planet that was built by a race of aliens–kinda insect/pteranodons called the Seraphs. (They did not call themselves that.)

It's abandoned and old one priest is staying at the church.

Archeologist's like "i can take some pics pls?"

He stays the night because the priest doesn't want him trying to climb back down and dying (a labyrinth of very, very tall stairs lead to the church) like other people have.

They talk about the Seraphs, who are gone now. Priest reveals there's the body of one in a hidden tomb in the church. Archeologist's like OwO wats dis

It's revealed the priest is visited regularly in his dreams by the Seraph in the sepulcher. Humans apparently genocided the Seraphs. Even the ones who became Christians.

A lot like how the United States murdered hundreds of thousands of innocent Japanese–even the Christian ones.

The dreams aren't super pleasant, even though the Seraph isn't evil. The priest dreams of killing him just to get some peace, but he doesn't really want to.

"Do you know why we became Christians, Father?"

The priest sighed. "By the grace of God."

"True, though you do not truly believe as yet. His grace makes use of means, of tools. Why?"

"Because you thought we'd spare you then." Father Joseph gazed at the knife in his hands; it seemed as inexplicable as any Seraph artifact. Was one to grasp both ends? "You thought we had decency enough for that, and you were wrong."

"Because we wanted to understand you, we became like you. You took lands that were never ours, and called them ours, and killed us lest we ask for them back. Now we are dead, but we shall rise again, in Christ."

The knife clattered to the stone floor.

"Like the flower from its seed, the moth from its cocoon. We become, come into being. If you were more like Christ, you would understand us better."

The priest has orders to LEEEEEEEEAVE because the Seraphs aren't coming back, what's the point of taking care of this abandoned church in the middle of nowhere?

As he hitches a ride to the nearest civilization with the archeologist, they turn around and see a cloaked figure back up at the church. Archeologist's like "who dat? I thought you were alone." Priest says it's his brother who will watch over the church for him now. The "dead" Seraph was apparently just in some kind of larval state.

They get back to town and stay at the CHESTERTON HOUSE and Father Joseph, for the first time in his life(?), sees a cute girl.

A cheerful auburn-haired attendant supervised the robots that unloaded their baggage. "Been out in the desert long?"

"I haven't," Brook told her, 'but Father Krska was there for more than ten years."

She smiled at the priest; and he nodded to her, affirming the truth of what Brook said.

So this is unlawful desire, he thought, his eyes traced the tender curve of her lips. This is the sensation they feel, the thing they fight against and rush to: this twitching in the shoulder blades.

I had not known.

It would not be a Gene Wolfe story without hornyposting. BUT WAIT A MINUTE

>they feel

Does that sound HUMAN to you? And "I had not known"? What, did Father Joseph literally start watching over the church before he entered puberty, and he's now like just a teenager? And all the times he went to town to get supplies, he NEVER saw a hot girl?

NO, THAT SERAPH IS STILL WITH HIM lol the same way it could be in his dreams, it can still watch him. I wonder whether he knows it or not. "He" surely still means the priest, but with the thoughts of the Seraph. No, I don't think it's a "body snatching" situation at all, the Seraph wouldn't DO that even if he could, he wants to understand humans. And in his new state, he apparently can send his consciousness out further than he could before, since he's only *now* able to be with the priest in town.

Cool story, reminds me offfff…. ……….. My brain… Orson Scott Card.

Insectoid aliens trying to empathize with humans, only for the humans to genocide them. In Ender's Game they attacked first though, I wonder what reason the humans had for killing the Seraphs.

Even in Ender's story though, the aliens never became Christpilled.

This isn't really relevant, but since I was complaining about the "aliens are racist" girls earlier– it might be something I'll use for the rest of my life, but a critic of Card's calling Ender's Game a "defense of Hitler" is just such a – I could not ask for a better example of why people who "study" literature in universities are pants-on-head retards who are basically illiterate. They just can't understand anything.Andlmao aaaaaaah never mind that's all

NO, IMSORRY ONE MORE– i LOVE (LOVE) the Gamespot reviewer for Far Cry 5 being CONFUSED by the boomer redneck conservative NPC not being an enemy. "I like.. Don't really know how I'm supposed to… feeeeeel about this?" AHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! YOOOOOU –

That's enough. I'm pulling horse skeletons out of the ground for no reason. It's not a good thing to do, but i just keep doing it.

III

Queen of the Night

I hate her.

What's this story about…

A little boy who's taken in by GHOULS and lives with them for about 9 years.

When the story starts, uhhhh… idk he's a teenager. Around 15 probably.

They go harass some family that lives by a graveyard for gibs, and the family's like "FUCKING FAIRIESSSS LEEEEEEEEEEEEAVEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"

Lil bro sneaks in and sees they have a daughter who's SUPER sick. She'll be ded in a month, but she's not even enough meat for his ghoul gf.

He has a ghoul gf btw, she's the one who took him in. After first pranking him with "food" and then bringing him to what she thought was bad water for him to get sick. I guess after he survived enough of her funny jokes she started liking him instead of wanting to eat him. (Ghouls eat the dead, I know you already know that–he offered himself to her, but she told him she wouldn't eat him while he's alive)

Lil bro leaves the house, they dig up a body and the ghoulbros eat it, BUT the QUEEN is coming, with ghoul gf being hoping she'll "approve" of the boy.

She comes in a carriage and ghoul gf's like "Q_Q WE'VE HAD HIM FOR 7 YEARS PLS LET HIM STAY WITH US JUST A FEW MORE YEARS PLSSSSSSS"

Now that's a detail I REALLY loved, the way she tries to minimize how long he's actually been with them, because she really wants to keep him. She seems to really care about hi–well, she at least likes having him around.

But the Queen is like " UwU nuh uh, he's of age, he has to go back to the hoomans now. I'll arrange it." And dismisses the ghouls, who vanish instantly. Even ghoul gf dares not defy her.

IMMEDIATELY queen's like "Ara ara how about you come with me instead? "

By this time the little girl is out of the house and bro's like  "Lemme take her back home, she's sick" aaaand he goes to bring her back, but the door is locked. So he bangs on it, and it's opened from the inside. By the queen.

Bro's like "Ur making her sick aren't you"

Queen's like "lmao ya"

Bro's like "I'll go with you if you leave her alone!"

"I'll leave her alone for 1 year."

"No, forever!"

"Mmm how long were you with the ghouls?"

"9 years"

"Ok 9 years, let's go 🫦"

In the carriage, she uh. You know, she gets on top of him and takes his virginity. I ASSUME, because it doesn't seem like ghoul gf was sleeping with him yet. At least not like this. Either way, she fucks him stupid. When she's first in his pants he's like "Don't do that" and she MOCKS him in that HORRIBLE, IRRESISTIBLE way that girls do: "Don't do that lol" She does it.

Later, he jumps out of the carriage

And finds that he's landed in her bed. She does him again, this time showing him how to be on top.

All the while, she's biting– and she licked, and tore him with her teeth until her pillow was wet everywhere with his blood, because she's of course a vampire, not a ghoul.

He wakes up and he's alone for a little while, she comes back, and she's like "lol u want some more?" and he's just BEGGING for her now, it's PATHETIC.

Because of all the blood she's taken from him, she's regained so much youth that the "age_difference" tag is now either gone or reversed.

"Look upon me, man-child." For a few seconds that seemed eternity to him, her camisole wrapped her marvelous, living hair like a turban. Raising her arms, she pirouetted before him. "I was old when first you met me, but I am young as you, now. Younger, with your youth."

Her body was above perfection, filling him with a hunger that consumed him until it could consume her.

>I was old when you first met me

probably just had the body of a 22yo

As he lunges for her, he wakes up in the snow.

The human family's been ordered to take him in, and he'ssssssss. Hm. ah, he'll be all right. At least for 9 years until she comes back.

The thing is, he's lost his innocence, and it's actually very sad. Being raped by a vampire queen might nolmao it might not sound like the worst thing in the world, but it is uh, something–he's LOST something that he'll never be able to get back.

If you would allow me to cope for a sec?

She could have killed him lol she'd literally drained him so much, she said he'd DIE if they did it again, and she brought him back to the humans instead of letting him jump her.

But maybe she just did that to torment him more. She's not a good person lol

"These are the pleasures of Hell, you see, man-child. In Hell they are not punished by pain alone, because pain alone can never be punishment enough."

Would it have been a mercy for her to just have fucked him to death?

Nah, I think he'll be OKAY! He's getting along well with the human girl, who's now much stronger. And he even saw ghoul gf one night, and she smiled at him. But he hasn't seen her again. I wonder what that means. He'd told the queen he wanted to go back to ghoul gf, and she said "eventually", so maybe she'll actually let ghoul gf take him again…

But wait, why does she even allow him to be with the humans AT ALL? Maybe just so she doesn't have to take care of him, idk. She's coming for that girl again though. Hopefully he'll have uh, taken her away by then. Something. Anything, he's got 9 years!

He *already* gave himself up to save her once without even knowing her, SURELY his affection for her will only grow now that he's living with her, right? Plus, only she knows what he went through. Good luck telling anyone else, especially another woman, about the days you spent in the vampire queen's castle.

Anyway, here's the ending with his new father-figure, girl's dad, who's unaware that lil bro was raised by ghouls and was just breakfast, lunch, and dinner for a vampire queen:

"You're rich. You think you're poor, I suppose. It's very likely. You's say you've got nothing. But you've got youth, which is the second greatest treasure in the world. And you've innocence. For a few years more you'll have that, and it's the greatest of all. A poor man can get rich. A rich man who's lost his monet may get rich again, that happens, too. But when childhood's past, life's greatest treasure is gone forever. Nothing can replace it, Jon, or even reconcile you to its loss. There's no return to innocence, and beyond youth nothing but sorrow."

"Yes Master Caretaker," Jon said. "I know. I know."

Poor Jon. Or not?

Do you want me to talk at you about this? Is it an interesting topic?

Lost innocence. It's a – *Chael Sonnen voice* it's a very real thing.

It's also kinda literally-exactly what she said, "the pleasures of Hell"

Most people don't really give a shit about losing their innocence, especially men.

I'm not, and will never, advocate for like, self-traumatization.  "THIS HAPPENED TO ME A WHILE AGO AND JUST NOW IT'S BECOME A PROBLEM" Especially if a vampire hypnotized you. But

But what?

Idk, it might be worthwhile to care a little. Men who've lost their virginity outside of marriage should *care*. And it's GOT to be easier to regret having sex once you're safely inside a marriage, because it's the easiest thing in the world to not care *at all* that you've been with women if you're not currently married– it's considered TRAGIC to die a virgin. It should be tragic to die unmarried. All the pleasures of sex can help you cope with life, "At least I'm not a VIRGIN" but if you–if YOU find the (however rare) Virgin Waifu and you really care about her, it's GOT to haunt you that you didn't wait for her.

We see what happens when a person no-longer cares about the amount of people they fuck, they become something very disgusting. My good friend [edit, no TWO OF THEM] was addicted to sex and I love him but the sheeeeeeeit he got up to was sickening.--beyond the moral issues, the creaturas one of them brought into his bed would have Lovecraft screaming for his black cat. You hear about Sperm Whales battling Giant Squids, and the land really does reflect the sea.

Jon's at a crossroads now. Really, what's he going to do? Is he going to FUCK AND ABANDON the girl the same way the queen did to him?

I think something the father didn't mention is that even if you lose your innocence, you can still lose even moooooooooreeeeeee. And you can lose more by taking it from others. Maybe it's not innocence at that point, it's just losing humanity. And I'm not(am I?) suggesting that have lmao having sex outside of marriage turns you into a subhuman. I am suggesting, no asserting, that it will eventually.

And what do we mean by "innocence",  is it JUST sexual? Zzzzzzzzz usually. In fact, always, and anything else you'd call a loss of innocence pales in comparison. (like idk, a kid finding out WWE isn't """real""" for the first time)

Where was I…

Don't uh… don't be a vampire. I guess that's it. Don't feed on other people. Even if you don't care about what you've lost, don't take it from anyone else. You are not going to be the Queen of the Night/King of the Night(who's probably going to a realer Hell than they imagine), you're just going to be a repulsive whore or a disgusting old man.

That's enough out of me, I'm all over the place, sry. It was a rly good story. Uh, very sexy too, so be careful. Be thankful there's no Queen of the Night irl.

IV

The Death of Koschei the Deathless

What was this about…

"A Tale of Old Russia"

Is that a good enough summary?

It was a fun story. It's a prince, Ivan, telling the story of his father and himself to uh… a writer from London I guess

His father was basically a total goofball idiot weakling who – I'll just say this

He released Koschei the Deathless, a pagan king,  from prison for basically no reason

He does this while his wife is away at war. He stayed behind because his tummy hurts, which is the most relatable thing in the entire world

Koschei steals his wife when she comes back

He kinda cares but not that much because he's discovered his indigestion isn't as bad now that she's not around, which again, is painfully relatable

He goes to steal her back basically just because he'd have to give up his castle without her, and succeeds,

But then he loses her again

He retreats in shame

Psyches himself up to go get her back, but also he thinks he's friends with Koschei becauselmao because he released him from prison, it's so silly how dumb he is

Gets captured

Koschei's like "enough already bro" and executes him hilariously.

Also his wife is his sister

Our hero's raised by servants, and decides to go get his mom/aunt back from Koschei.

He consults BABA YAGA (who may or may not just be a mean noblewoman), and she gives him some advice about how to FOOL Koschei. She also teaches him about women and he kinda becomes a badass because of it, with an army of wolves following him.

No one, I think, has ever looked deeper into the human heart–into women's hearts, particularly, for men's are simple things by comparison–than old Baba Yaga. Once we came across a ryabchik and her brood, the chicks just big enough to eat. I had my bow, and I told Baba Yaga I'd kill a pair for us. The servants could pluck and roast them, and we'd have them with our luncheon. She shook her head and told me that the ryabchik was a woman, too, and we wouldn't start home until I had made friends with her. I learned a great deal during that long afternoon, riding slowly after those seven birds and sitting cross-legged on the yellowing grass. Baba Yaga taught me how to charm wild bees, too–and how to leave their honey behind when I'd done it. Last of all the wolf, who is not the monster we think her, but God's dog, half mad with hunger and the memory of His hands upon her head.

Yes, we Russians are all sentimentalists, as you say; and I'm not called Ivan the Simple for nothing.

So he retrieves his mom from Koschei.

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Koschei randomly gets kicked by a horse and dies lol

I'm too tired. It was really fun though. You really FEEL like it was written by a Russian.

V

Bed and Breakfast

After some gentle teasing about my age and inadequacies (the sort of thing that women always do, in my experience, as an anticipatory vengeance for the contempt with which they expect to  be treated when the sexual act is complete), we slept. In the morning, Eira wore her wedding band to breakfast, where I introduced her to the old woman as my wife, to the old man's obvious relief. The demon sat opposite me at table, wolfing down scrambled eggs, biscuits, and homemade sausage he did not require, and from time to time winking at me in an offensive manner that I did my best to tolerate.

Bed and Breakfast is about a guy staying at an inn located near Hell. Just because he's a freakin nerd. He's probably in his 40s or 50s, a little out of shape.

A woman (tall and tawny-haired, with a figure rather too voluptuous to be categorized as athletic, and one of those interesting faces that one calls beautiful only after at least half an hour of study) wanders in who just ran away from her husband, and there's no more rooms so he lets her stay in his. They spend some time in the kitchen talking about Hell (She doesn't believe him when he says it's a few miles down the road) Eventually a demon comes in for some food and he's kinda obviously a demon so she believes him now and they excuse themselves to their room.

Bro reassures her that he's stayed here many times before and he's already set up things in the room to PROTECC them from demons, so she doesn't have to worry. She takes a bath while he lies in bed relaxing, knowing what's about to happen.

I appreciate Gene Wolfe for agreeing with me that it's an unbreakable law of nature that  if a man and a woman are staying in a room together, it's impossible for them to not have sexual relations. Way too many writers are like eunuchs in current year. The guy calling you incel is unironically terrified of a woman in his bed. IRL or in ink.

And you– look, *I* would LOVE for them to have had a proper Catholic marriage ceremony first. In literally every story. But there's just not enough tiiiiiime, maaaaaaan. Besides, you'll see why it's – just wait, we'll get there

Girl  gets out of her bath. NATURALLY, after a nice loooong time spent complaining about all the men she's ever known in her life and telling him how much he reminds her of a guy she knew in school, lying on top of him crying, they have sex.

I'm telling you, no-one writes better or more realistic male-female interaction than Gene Wolfe. No one.

Anyway, he drives her to the city the next day and leaves her his address and phone number. They have McDonald's before they part ways 🥲

Then he's like hoping she'll call him the next day. You know that feeling. That horrible feeling. He REALLY likes her. Poor guy lol

A week or so goes by and she sends him a card with HER number on it. But he doesn't know if he should call.

You see, he kinda thinks he found her real identity: she killed her husband with his own shotgun, and committed suicide awaiting trial.

And it seems like the demon at the inn hinted that she'd escaped from Hell and that he was her "assignment". Whatever that means. Leading him to sin, making him obsessed, driving him insane.

But nothing is certain, the ending's ambiguous. For one thing, you can never trust a word that comes out of a demon's mouth, bro says so himself. He does feel kiiiiinda certain that she was in Hell, but he doesn't really know anything else.

Like ANYTHING else, where do we even start?

Her husband was apparently a sick fuck who was always threatening to kill her and  starved a poor doggo to death. But he also never saw a mark on her. And how much can he really trust anything she said? She lied about being alive.

OR DID SHE?

Did she REALLY? What if she doesn't even know she's dead? And have you ever met a woman, in your entire life, who was a convincing liar? I mean truly convincing. Would you be fooled by an elaborate "my husband starved a dog to death and was always threatening to stab and strangle me" story? Not "would a woman lie about that", obviously they'll lie about anything but would you be FOOLED? No, you wouldn't be, and since bro's "This Woman Is Obviously Exaggerating How Bad Her Ex Was" detector never went off, *we* can be assured that she was telling the truth.

So she probably killed him in self-defense.

In Hell for the suicide, then. But how did she get out? She escaped?

Consider the following: if you just escaped Hell, would you rest at an inn 3 miles away? No, you'd keep running until you found Christ.

I really think she didn't know she was in Hell, if she was at all.

Also when the demon is talking to him, he's like "Yeah, I wasn't gonna take her anyway, I'm ackshually glad she's with you lol uhh it's her mission to be with you :^) "

You know what that might be? That might be COPE.

What if the precautions the guy took on his room really DID protect them from the demon so he couldn't just break in and nab her?

"I- I didn't want her anyway!!!"

Bro literally says at the beginning "You can't trust a word that comes out of their mouths."

Whatever happens, I think he'll be fine.

You know, there's some parts in there that suggest she might have even been an angel.

Not an angel-angel, but uh… when they're in the kitchen they talk about how some humans– lemme just find it…

Actually before I even find it, yes, I am saying she was an angel, and I'll tell you why afterward. But first…

"It was a long time ago, when I was a kid. He was four, I think, and he fell off the balcony. Mother always said he was an angel now, an angel up in Heaven. Do dead people really get to be angels if they're good?"

"I don't know; it's an interesting question. There's a suggestion in the Book of Tobit that the Archangel Raphael is actually an ancestor of Tobit's. Angel means 'messenger,' as you probably know; so if God were to employ one of the blest as a messenger, he or she could be regarded as an angel, I'd think."

Here's why she's without a doubt an angel in that sense:

Dude is a GLOOMER, who thinks everyone just goes to Hell unless they're a saint. He's even resigned to going to Hell himself.

Eira was 100% sent–whether she herself even knows it or not–to lift him out of his gay doomerism by giving him the thrill of being with a woman. Not just sex, but all the dumb little happiness that a romantic relationship brings. It'll lift his mood and make it easier for him to find God's love.

That's the answer. Sure, it's a "choose your own headcanon" ending (even the fact that she killed herself awaiting trial serves to make it unclear whether she murdered her husband or not), but I am TELLING YOU I KNOW HOW GENE WOLFE THINKS, THE GUY LOVED WOMEN, AND THAT'S IT– that's at least one interpretation he intentionally put in there. And nothing else makes sense.

What, she's a DEMON? Sent to lead him… astray? From what? He's already resigned himself to Hell. That's obviously what you're supposed to suspect, but there's just nothing to support it maaaaaan there's nothing

What kind of bad influence is she on him? She's just a normal young woman, kinda dumb, very sweet, a joy to be around. She's not a freakin succubus. The idea that Satan is playing 4D chess with her as a pawn is absurd, he's not that smart.

Okay? So that's it. I'm telling you. Hey, maybe she's not even dead.

You know what, I'm not even positive that he's alive either…

Either way, they're gonna get married and live happily ever after.

VI

The Walking Sticks

Ergherthrth

What was this about… it's a real short one

Basically a guy get divorced and his bitch ex-wife inherits a wardrobe full of antique walking sticks which are delivered to him because she's off traveling or something. I guess the wardrobe was probably also an antique, but the sticks are what's important.

The guy and his new gf are looking at them, they're kinda neato, they go to bed.

Tap tap tap.

Yes, the sticks–at least one of them–can walk around on their own.

Spooky.

Guy basically becomes possessed by it, and is opening doors and stuff for it like a freakin servant.

He follows it one night into town and it's beating a teenage girl to death. Then he's holding it, and he "feels strong" and it's like mmmmmmm maybe only *sometimes* it's walking by itself.

His gf tells him she saw a strange man dressed in like, a derby hat, and a coat–like the kind of guy who'd be walking with a vintage walking stick–in their yard, and even though he disappeared when she yelled at him, she knows he's still around, she can feel him.

Cop comes by asking about the dead children. There's more than one.

"Idk."

"Mhm. Where's your gf?"

"She left me." Even though all her stuff was still there, he "felt that it was true." That's not good.

So throughout the story, gf's yelling at him to get rid of it.

Finally–it might have been after the teenage girl being killed idr, he resolves to DO IT, he saws through it, he discovers some strange vial of "something like mercury" in the silver handle, shaped like a dog. He pours it down a snake hole in the yard.

Gf asks him what he's doing…

…even though she's not around anymore…

He says nothing, and finishes destroying the stick, and ships the rest to a warehouse in NEW JERSEY.

Cop comes by again for some more fun questions. Guy tells him about the strange man gf had seen in the yard, and he says he'll go out and look.

Guy "feels strong" again and considers that he'll have to call someone because the cop's car will still be there in the morning. tHE eND.

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh

It was pretty good, I never love BAD ENDINGS. Obviously the stick didn't matter too much. It was really interesting how there was some kind of mysterious fluid in there, and he just gets rid of it, and you'd think "Ah ha! Problem solved!" and it did basically nothing.

Also, he definitely murdered his gf too. Right? That's how she "left him" while all of her stuff is still there.

What do you think, something was attached to the walking sticks and then went into him? Idk.

It was pretty freaking spooky, though. At one part it's banging on the garage door to let it in, and when he does so, it swings up and destroys the lightbulb. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

Probably worth another read because it plays with the timeline and stuff. Also he's narrating it and he's evidently possessed.

VII

Lemme see…

Mute

Is a scary story. And I haven't really… gotten it, maybe. Idk if there's much to get.

A brother and sister are dropped off by a bus to their father's estate to live with him, having come from "a place", maybe an orphanage or something, idk.

Sis sees him at the doorway, they go in, he's not there. They think he's on the phone or something, there's no-one on the phone. The TV's on in the living room, but it's on mute, so they can't see what the man is saying, which may be important. In fact, it is.

They explore the large house(15 rooms) some more, and Sis begs Bro to share a room with her because she's scared, even going so far as to say she'll have NO room, it'll be HIS entirely, and she'll clean it every day. Strange detail, right? With no shortage of other rooms that she could call her own even as she shares his temporarily for this typical "I'm scared, can I sleep with you tonight?" arrangement. It seems to suggest she doesn't want it to be a temporary arrangement.

The next day Bro sees Dad too, and he runs to the basement stairs where the door had slammed shut. Understandably spooked, he gets sis to come down with him, and she finds the light switch his dumb ass couldn't find because it was behind the door. (fantastic touch)

They go down and find the rotted remains of their father.

Sis says they won't see him anymore, supposing he was just trying to tell them that he wa dead and wouldn't be around to help them. By now, Sis realizes that the man(reporter probably) talking on the TV is on a loop.

The next day, they try to go to the neighbor to see if there's anyone there. Some kind of catastrophic event's obviously happened, and they're questioning whether they'll find anyone or any cars will pass by(none do). After (hours?) of walking, they finally arrive at the gate.

They hop the fence of the neighbor's property, Sis following for fear Bro will just disappear and she'll never see him again– and they follow this long road, only to discover it leads back to their own house. The electricity goes out–thus far a comforting sign of human activity somewhere–and sis laments that they'll have no more hot food. Bro's confident it'll come back on. It doesn't.

The story ends with Sis folding some clothes in their dark room and going into the bed naked, with Bro joining her and pulling her closer, suggesting that they're probably the only two people alive in the world.

This Wincest ending has more to it than meets the eye. Idk how much of it depends on whether you think this is their first time together or not.

For starters, they're definitely NOT the only two people alive, they were dropped off by a bus driver 2 freaking days ago. Who was ordered to take them there by SOMEBODY, surely. The "if you were the last person on Earth" meme excuses him suggesting they really were the only ones left alive; he obviously just wants to bone his sister. I'd really have to twist my mind into a pretzel to find much else that's like definitive. You know? Something really bad's happened. Children sent to live with Dad (WHY? Lack of resources where they'd been staying?) Dad lets them know he can't help them. They look for someone else to help them, it leads them right back to their own house. Are they gonna try again tomorrow? They probably have to.

There's a … "RELIANCE" message here that i cant be bothered to put to words. And there's something to say that even though he's the older brother and capable of taking charge in their life, she's also seemingly more of a realist, more practical. She finds a switch to the basement he can't, she gets through the gate more easily than him(albeit because she was thin enough), she understood what their father was trying to tell them by leading them to his body, and she's actually WORRIED ABOUT THEIR FOOD SITUATION, while he's just like "Pssssshhhh, the electricity will come back, relax lol"

It was even her idea to check their "neighbors'" property; was Bro just gonna be CONTENT to stay in this house with no real idea what's going on?

She's trying to read the man's lips on the TV to know what he's saying, to learn what's going on in the world, and Bro accuses her of finding him attractive, he's more preoccupied with HER than their situation. Maybe men just need women, while women really do need food.

Now all of that said, she still finds safety and comfort in him, being scared shitless of being separated from him *ever*, even if he's a bit of an airhead he's still her rock.

You know, we FAIRLY accuse women of being retards all the time, but when they're not like rich valley girl whores, they're actually extremely practical when it comes to life in that they have a "CONCERN FOR TOMORROW" that a lot of men don't necessarily have, they're HOMEMAKERS. What's a woman really doing when she's nagging you to death to do work? She's trying to improve your shared quality of life.

And even here, she's freaking folding clothes at the end of the story.

I thought it was a good story. I don't have any sisters, so I'm probably not as offended lmao I'm probably not as offended as I should be. But uh, hey, that's life at The End of the World with your little sister, in your lightless mansion with your dad rotting in the basement.

VIII

My Name is Nancy Wood

"Sex? In MY Gene Wolfe story?" it's exactly as likely as you'd think.

Nancy Wood was a dead woman they dug up. Wait… why did they dig her up again? It might be important, but I'll check later. [edit: criminologists 100 years later believe she was poisoned, perhaps by a lover, so they got permission to disturb her grave because I guess there's no current crime to solve]

Anyway, they find a sheaf of paper in her coffin. A SHEAF. Okay? Not  a SHEET, a SHEAF. A bundle of paper.

On it was a story.

Nancy Wood was a nurse at a hospital. She had a heart patient, a young reverend. They get along well, he asks her to pray for him, she doesn't, it's just something you say you'll do to be polite. Eventually she does because she feels guilty. He's not feelin' so hot though.

He's like "lol I'm gonna die but it's ok"

"She's like nuh uh you'll be fine"

"Yeah ok lol. Hey can u sing for me?"

"*female singing*"

"Thnx, that was great. I'm still gonna die though."

"You'll be fiiiiiiiiine lol. I'll cya tomorrow, I'm going off shift."

"So am I," he said. "My shift is nearly over, Nurse Wood, and I know it. I only hope that I have given satisfaction to my Employer." I encouraged him as one always encourages such patients, telling him that he would soon be well enough to return to his congregation. He sighed. "I shall never see Saint Martha of the Wood again." I was much struck by this, as may be imagined, the name of his church having in it an element of my own name.

"Take my hand," he said. "It is getting dark." I told him, of course, that his room was darkened in order that he might sleep.

She doesn't believe he'll die, but he proves her wrong a minute later.

As she prepares to leave after finding no signs of life, he sits back up. She's shocked, but he motions for her to stay, and she helps him get dressed back into his own clothes. The two of them leave together.

He's pretty weak, and he can't speak, but he's aware. He's alive again. She asks where he wants to go, but he leaves it up to her. By the time they make it to her place, he's seemingly doing better. He still can't talk, but other parts of him are working just fine.

Although the life of the body ends," I told him, "that of the soul continues, though it ceases to animate the body. Yours, I believe, has continued in its former position, having some unfulfilled duty."

He answered nothing to this.

"Or desire," I finished.

Philip still did not reply, but busied himself with those garments I wore beneath my uniform.

The next morning, they sneak him back to his hospital bed. Another nurse goes to check on him, and he's dead. He's taken to the morgue. Thank God the next day an attendant realizes he's breathing, and they bring him back to the hospital.

He doesn't seem to remember what they did that night.

A few weeks later, he's discharged and his wife picks him up. She was right, he's aaaaaall better! He thanks her for taking care of him, blissfully unaware that he'd gone home with her and fucked her stupid while he was dead.

Hopefully Nancy's life wasn't so bad after that, but she does describe that as the "cardinal event of her life". She considers that something similar to what happened to him, might happen to her as well, so she asks that her niece make sure a pencil and paper are put in with her when she goes.

We're left with the following:

THAT THIS document was actually written in the grave, Dr. Mason thinks very doubtful; records indicate that Ms. Wood's remains were embalmed

—Editor

Of course that's cope from Dr. Mason. Does it matter whether a dead person's been embalmed or not?

I know what you're thinking. "Maybe the reverend wasn't really dead at all." No, he was dead. It's of course possible that he wasn't, there is allowance for materialist cope here: he just had a uh, temporary cease of function, she's just a bad nurse and couldn't find his pulse, whatever. But no, he was dead. That's why she wrote the story and why she was able to write the story in her coffin.

A better question is, why was it thought that she was poisoned?

And isn't it interesting that despite that, she makes NO reference to any other men? This is what matters to her.

We also don't know how old she was when she died, too. Did she die a year later, 30 years later? However long her life was, this was the only thing she felt like writing in her grave with the "last licks" of her soul.

Something to think about though… why did the Rev make a full recovery while she didn't? Cause of death maybe? Maybe she *was* poisoned? Maybe she died of old age… no, she probably didn't die of old age.

Who gets poisoned by a lover? Young women or old women?

She surely died young, which makes sense since even though this is an understandably uh, interesting life story, more age is more chance of fulfillment. Who'd she ask to take care of her funeral? Her niece, not a daughter, not a son: she had none.

I might have been mean to the criminologists at the beginning of the story, but surely they had SOME reason to suspect she'd been killed.

A jealous lover probably did kill her. It wasn't the Reverend, I can tell. I got lmao I got good vibes from him, trust me, he was a good man.

Even though he uh, was unfaithful to his wife. Well, idk HOW FAIR it is to call it thlmao wait JUST HEAR ME OUT, OKAY? He never came on to her before or AFTER the incident, ya? She'd have written about it. So he wasn't like INTENTIONALLY cheating on his wife, he just– also, hey, "till Death do us part", he was literally dead. WHILE HE WAS ALIVE, HE WAS NEVER UNFAITHFUL TO HIS WIFE.

Wait a minute…

It'd be very sad if she'd actually poisoned herself. That's a possibility. That's actually a strong possibility. Maybe more likely than a lover.

In fact, yeah, I'm saying she killed herself. She hadn't even known he was married, it probably destroyed her when his wife came and got him–in hindsight, she did call it something like an unhappy coincidence that she'd picked him up while she was on duty. Obviously she'd rather not have seen that.

And she never told anyone else what happened, but she at least wrote after she died.

Tragic story. Idk, what CAUSED the Rev's revival though? Both the initial one AND the one after he'd been sent to the morgue?

Maybe he just liked her that much and didn't realize it. Maybe he did realize it but resisted while he could.

Poor Nancy. She's in a better place now though. Of course, this is just MY INTERPRETATION of the story. But you know, idk if anyone's come up with something better. I'm going to say "no". If I can pat my own ass for a second, I'm just *better* at getting these stories thannnnnnnnn… ………….. Other people. OK? I ASK BETTER QUESTIONS THAN "IS IT RACIST TO HAVE ALIENS VISIT EGYPT?"

IX

Talk of Mandrakes

Not every guy in a Gene Wolfe story gets his dick wet and survives.

A young scientist gets tricked by an oooold scientist who's been off-planet and discovered some new… "plants", into having sex with an alien plant-thing he calls a dryad which uh, changes its appearance to be desirable to whatever it's faced with as a defense mechanism. Maybe for reproduction, too.

So he's boning this hot plant-girl, just because he literally can't resist. Like imagine *the* girl, the girl of your freaking dreams, and that's what she becomes when she spends a few minutes with you.

But then the tendrils come out, as thin as hairs. As he's being dragged he screams out and that's GG.

It's a mandrake btw, it's not your perfect innocent dryad waifu from The Wizard Knight.

So it's like uh– neat take on the classic story of mandrakes screaming, is it really THEM that's screaming? Or whatever they're consuming at the time?

When the old scientist returns, "she" is over 200lb, having consoomed the poor horny idiot. Oldtimes says "k, you've absorbed his information? I've got you another one." For her sake she'd better be able to shed that weight or hide it in her roots or something, because there's no WAY a second guy's falling  for that.

If some labcoat locked you in a room with a 200lb woman, what would you do, besides use her as a battering ram like Grond.

The story ends with her speaking for the first time to the new guy.

"Hey. You're cute!"

TRULY HORRIFYING.

Uhhhhhhhhh… idk. It's a good story. Very short. Old doctor seems to have a disdain for humanity or how life is on Earth in the future–super, suuuper congested. I think he wants to let her loose, maybe spread her kind around, idk why. Just old man seethe. I don't think he's seen the uh… rather, the mandrake hasn't seen him, he's made sure she can't so she can't tempt him too. I don't really know why he's feeding men to her, and – it's probably state-sanctioned too lmao. Like these guys going missing as they enter this lab? Come on. So DA GOVMINT has some interest in this mandrake uh… consooming people and I guess just becoming more intelligent? Sounds like a freaking disaster waiting to happen, but whatever, they'll probably make great weapons.

I know what you're thinking. Hopefully the tendrils didn't enter the guy, but especially not through the front.

Decent woOooorld building for only a few pages, too.

X

Black Shoes

Old college friend's telling a story to someone he hasn't seen in years. He teaches something like mythology iirc, something like that. What a Native American student says in class one day is important:

"All those things," he said, "those mermaids and all, they're nothing but the ghosts of people that drowned."

It started an uproar, everybody laughing and talking. I got them quiet and explained to Morgan as kindly as I could that there are no such things as ghosts. When I finished, he said, "Okay, but that's what they are. My granddad was a fisherman all his life, and he talked to them. He knew."

Prof goes on vacation with his gf who he hates, she goes shopping and he goes out to the beach. Walked along the shoreline, somehow managed to get lost walking a straight line.

He sees things in the water. Like terrifying little dwarf-sized shark men.

I know what you're thinking. "Ask, you wrote about this in your award-winning book Spooks in the Deep YEARS ago!" You're right, but I ADMIT that Gene Wolfe writes scarier creatures than I do.

They come out of the water for him and he begssssssss them to let him go, making some promises for his freedom. So they let him go.

Then he books it, desperately trying to get back to his hotel. Still can't find his way back. He finds a little river he stops to take a drink at, despite his new fear of water.

I straightened up and had a look around, and then she was smiling up at me through the water.

Her name had been Jo Ann. Two words: Jo Ann. I saw her, and  I knew that I had loved her a long, long time ago. I started crying again, and that's when she came up out of the water, bare breasts, you know, and long hair, and the fresh, beautiful face of seventeen. She called my name and told me not to cry, and motioned for me to come to her. Finally, I did, wading out into the water.

We hugged and kissed and hugged again, and I said–this is exactly what I said, the exact words, "Oh God, Jo, I loved you so much." She only smiled, but when she smiled, it hit me.

I had drowned her.

I had murdered her and gotten away with it, and I had been fooling myself all these years, my unconscious mind deceiving my conscious mind entirely successfully.

He tells the story. Young  love, jealousy, thought she was cheating because she went to a party without him–yuge pool, tons of people in it, he drowns her without anyone noticing.

She told him she had loved him and was just worried that he was getting bored of her. She points him in the direction he needs to go and swims away.

Prof goes home alone, abandoning his new woman and buying a new place, the uh– it's not super clear what his agreement with the people in the water was, but now any time he takes his shoes off–the black shoes he was wearing that day, he feels absolutely terrified, like they're coming to get him. So his shoes are on 24/7. Once a week, he changes socks and washes the ulcers with iodine, but the fear is unbearable when he's barefoot.

Is the agreement that he has to wear the shoes? Or is him wearing them an attempt at getting around the agreement? Idk, there's more to it than I can put my mind to right now.

Friend decides not to turn him in to the police.

He smiled as he turned to go, and when I saw his smile I knew there was no point in trying to have him punished for the murder he had committed so many years ago. He has been punished already, punished by his own mind, and he will live in Hell for as long as he lives. It is worse here than anything any judge could ever do.

You can trust me on that. I know.

>It's worse here

His friend is in Hell too? Either mental or literal? Idk, we can trust him though.

Did Prof imagine the fish men? Or did he just want to confess to the murder? Were they real and he still wanted to confess anyway? Idk, but it's a spooky story.

Hunter Lake

This one's sad.

Also Gene Wolfe gets me *again* with me thinking that he made a mistake, only for it to have been intentional.

Uh… single mother and daughter staying at a cabin, mom's a photographer, wants to find some hidden lake where INJUNS had tortured their white prisoners that had been discovered by a hunter.

They go to an old couple's farm house a–

 You know what? I can't do this, I'm sorry. It's a great story, and I feel like an idiot REtelling  it when it's so wonderfully told to begin with. Like it's… I should just stop doing this.

Uh, basically the lake wasn't name after a hunter, the lake itself hunts people.  I'll leave it at that.

That's enough waterposting.

XI

Prize Crew

Uhhh… Navy(Space) discover an abandoned enemy ship. A smol team is tasked with bringing it home to Earth since it's in good shape. So they do it. It's kinda an alien ship, but also kiiinda human–you get a VIBE of what these aliens are like, and it's uh, humanish.

Anyway, days go by, weird stuff's happening, crew's hearing all kinds of loud noises, they think it's each other, it's keeping them awake at night

Guy wakes up and his room is shrinking and almost crushes him, he gets out of it, and he wasn't dreaming– his friend sees that it's small too and is like "lol you should have gotten a bigger room."

A room appears between their rooms, and they're like where the **** did this come from? They try opening it, they can hear something inside, they can't open it.

Female officer opens it, it locks behind her.

They're like "..."

They don't hear her scream or anything, so they figured she closed it herself. Maybe she did.

But when they go back, that room is gone.

Still, they get back to Earth, and uh, that's that. Mission complete.

He ships out on another mission, comes back, and

from what I hear this thing has already cleaned out half of North America and nobody knows what to do.

The story ends with our narrator telling us that the monster–or alien–that's genociding humanity rn isn't a monster or an alien. It's her, it's the girl. He asks the Navy to look into her psych records for *some* way of stopping her, but he's like "either way im out cya" and just LEAVES again. Good for him.

Check out her file, her psych profile and all that, and maybe you can find something you can use. The way it looks to me, that's Terra's only hope. You can do it or not, I guess. Up to you. I told you, and now I'm shipping out again. Good luck.

If uh, something on Earth is killing everyone and you can leave, maybe you should just leave.

It was a good story. It makes you go back and see that there are a few VERY, VERY, VERY smol clues about her–whatever she is, or whatever she became, we don't really know. We don't even really know WHAT she's doing, it seems like she can… manipulate space? Who knows what else.

We can guess that the ship was abandoned for a good reason.

Monster

Story about a man with uh– poly…uh… two heads. He's got two heads. And it's him telling the story of his life, and how his brother is basically a complete asshole that's driving him crazy, and trying to uh, sabotage basically everything in his life, and even though he's usually in control, when he's asleep, his brother can take over the body they share and does bad stuff.

They manage to – well, HE, the main guy, main…head, manages to romance a poor pretty girl in a wheelchair and they get married.

Immediately, brother starts getting into her ear about what a bad guy he is, etc., just trying to get between them. Bro even murders her dog one night. Very sad.

You want more sad? Okay, he wakes up one night and finds that bro murdered her and left her there for him to find.

Off to prison, because they think it's him–he's the main guy in control of the body. He meets a doctor who can help him prove his innocence, so he goes through a battery of tests, blah blah blah.

Well, it turns out, uh,

The brother wasn't lying when he told that poor girl what a bad guy he is.

Any nerves that'd allow him control over the body aren't functioning: no, he CAN'T control the body while the main guy's asleep, main guy's just a sleepwalker.

You go back, and you see aaaaaaaall the clues that point to him having a TERRIBLE temper, being impulsive and abusive–even in his narration *to us*–and you see how all of the bad things he accused his brother of happened while he was asleep.

I actually feel STUPID because so much of it is clear as day, but I just TOOK HIS WORD that his brother was the piece of shit, and I like glossed over all of the bad and weird shit that HE HIMSELF was doing.

Doc described it as him fulfilling his fantasies during the night. So while he SAYS that he'd never kill her dog because it's her property–right there we see terrible reasoning–he was still fantasizing about it, and he killed it in his sleep. Just like he did her.

Of course, he didn't like this revelation.

She said I did it, the dirty, lying, stinking bitch! She said I killed Sally. And that's a goddam lie.

Not that Sally didn't have it coming.

What an asshole.

The Card

Sad story. Guy in car w/ his fren, an off-duty cop who's the husband of… one of his daughter's friends. So the cop's a younger guy.

They're just drivin around, cop points out some f'd up guy and mentions that he used to know him in school.

Rich kid, good life.

Then something happened with his girlfriend.

It's not stated outright, but he made her get an abortion.

She tried killing herself afterward by cutting the shit out of herself.

He tried to keep her alive, got an ambulance, but she died at the hospital.

After that, he kept seeing her in his dreams, what she was did to herself, how she stumbled across the room to grab him.

He finds a prayer card one day on the ground–not of a Saint but a Blessed. (Dead, beatified, not a saint)

It's him. It's his name, it's his picture.

He starts relentlessly cutting and beating himself daily, the way she did, just to distract himself.

Cop mentions that they've had to arrest him a few times for his own good.

Cop says "He's going to damn me."

He's still got the card, see? He carries it around with him all the time. One of these days he's going to show it me. He'll pull it out and make me look at his picture, make me read the back. I'll do it, only when I look at the picture I'll say "Billyboy, that's not you." And when I read the back I'll read out some made-up name. Then I'll show him a mirror, make him look at himself in the mirror and hold up the card next to his face, and I'll say, "See, Billyboy? See how different this guy looks?"

And he'll die. That and all the cutting and whipping and stabbing will be punishment enough for him, for every bad thing he ever did, her included.  He won't be beatified here–or he doesn't think he will. Father Mike's not so sure about that. But he'll be a saint in Heaven, and she'll meet him there. They'll kiss and she'll forgive him for everything, then and forever.

Only I'll die and be damned and never get out.

Because of the lie. Because when I say it isn't him and pretend to read the made-up name I'll be lying through my teeth.

Sad.

All of it's sad. Isn't it–something–though, that the cop believes he'll be going to Hell, just("just", as if lying is OK) for lying to his old friend to try to calm him down or something? But he believes his friend will be going to Heaven, even after murdering a child in the womb.

I'm not quite sure how the friend will die, whether it'll be some act of God or suicide, or something else–because cop says that the guy's repented and "knows how it'll end". If that's the case, I'm not 100% on why the cop even feels the need to lie to him if it'll cause his death–unless it *doesn't* cause his death, he just means that he's going to die without being spooked by the card any more… But then uh… hm… idk. But I think that's probably it. He thinks he'll be sparing him somehow so he can stop torturing himself. But then, why would he stop torturing himself just because it's not him on the card? He still did what he did. What, is he just going to forget and live a normal life now? I guess he only started mutilating himself *after* finding the card. Still, the guilt. You can't take it back.

Anyway, Father Mike's probably "not so sure" that he won't be beatified, because the guy's surely shown him the prayer card, so he knows that it's him on it, which is  how the cop knows that he'll be lying when he denies it.

XII

The Vampire Kiss

Short story. I've never read or seen Oliver Twist, so maybe I'm not getting everything out of it– it has characters from it.

It's about a boy called Tommy (presumably Tom Chitling) whose parents are killed by a sexy vampire lady.  Mr. Fagin is telling us the story Tommy told him.

So uhh… yeah, dad dead one night. Tommy then found her coffin but didn't have a stake so lol oops. He goes back to get one, looks back and she's gone. Also mom dies now too.

The next day, Tommy sees her walking out of his house as if she owned the place.

Luckily or not, unlike Queen of the Night, in this story the vampiress just gave him a kiss instead of raping him stupid. "Poor, poor child!" she says as if she wasn't the one who sucked his parents dry.

Then she was gone. I blinked, you know, and looked around at the other boys, and saw they were envious. It was the strangest thing, sir, but they were. They wished they had been me, every one of them. I felt proud when I saw it. Proud and bad at the same time.

Poor Tommy. I can't–it's so disrespectful lmao AND SHE KNOWS THAT HE KNOWS, THAT BITCH

Anyway I guess that's how he ended up at Mr. Fagin's with the other boys. Mr. Fagin just ends with saying that Tommy was later taken away but that his story stuck with him.

Innocent

I'm warning you that there's sexual unpleasantness in this story.

A priest is visiting a man in prison, who insists that he did NOT r— a 10yo girl, which is what he's in for.

He tells the priest his story. And he never says it outright, but it becomes apparent that the man is a werewolf, or a uh, WOLF MAN. He's a massive, hairy man, so strong that two prison guards couldn't bend his arms back, and he sees the Moon as God–assuring the priest that it's not the way it sounds.

Sure I believe in God, Father. For me, God is the Moon.

Wait!

I know all that. He's not really the moon, and it's just a sort of island up in the sky. People have been up there. You know that crucifix you're holding up is just wood and metal, but it means God to you. That's how the moon is to me. God hung the moon, and since I can't  see Him I pray to Him there.

You know it reminds me of a poem my Dad used to tell me when I was little to scare me. It was from the old Wolfman movie. This is how he said it…

Even a man who is pure at heart

And says his prayers by night

Can become a wolf

When the Wolfbane blooms

And the moon is full and bright

Then he'd freakin HOWL.

DADDY NOOOOOOOO!!!!! 😭

And I'd be lucky if he didn't whip out one of his insane-quality monster masks.

Anyway…

It's also kinda implied that at their first meeting(this is not their first) the priest threw some holy water on him and it burned him.  There's no way around it, the guy's a werewolf.

He explains that he's never been able to eat normal food and admits to killing and eating people–especially little girls, who taste the best. He loves human blood like nothing else.

But he didn't do THAT to that girl.

What happened that fateful night?

He was following a girl home, you know, to find where she lived so he could maybe eat her later lmao He'd seen her before and became obsessed with her.

But then the girl gets abducted right freaking in front of him. A guy pulls up in a car, tricks her in, and drives off.

Wolfman steals someone's car and looks all over for them, finding them a few hours later in a trailer.

Guy runs off when he sees Wolfman SEETHING. Girl's alive, but he was too late to stop what he'd done to her.

There's no nice way of putting this, but he licks up some of her blood between her legs. He likes blood. It's there.

But he promises he's not going to hurt her. She's naked & tied, her clothes are gone, so he told her he'll leave her and come back when it's dark to get her so that no-one sees her naked.

He comes back like he said and she's grateful. He was already not going to eat her, but by this time, he's just enamoured by her.

As he's driving her home, the cops pull him over.

And there's just no way you're talking your way out of that one.

By then it was dark so I came back for her just like I had said. She was so sweet! She had finished crying by then, and the way she looked up at me… If you had seen her face then, Father, you would know I would never hurt her. I untied her and got her into my car, only the police stopped us and here I am.

So I am not a child molester like they said. Not at all. He was the one that did her like they were married, only nobody could marry a girl as little as she was then.

Maybe ten. Not much older.

She'll be older now. I know that. But if you'll find her and talk to her, she'll tell you I never did. It was him. I just licked her where she was bleeding. You know. That was all I did.

Well, tell her to tell the truth, please. She won't lie to you, I know. And tell her I will get out someday and when I do I am going to look her up and make sure she's all right.

I didn't mean to scare you, Father. Really I didn't. I just laid my hand on your shoulder–you shouldn't be so touchy. Just tell the screw you want out.

…

It'll be fine.

Look, when she's– lmao here's the thing: she's already older, so she won't taste as good anyway, on TOP of him already not wanting to hurt her because of the way she looked at him. He didn't want to eat her when she was at her most-tasty, he won't want to eat her when she's uh… of age. He could have just eaten her when he found her, he DIDN'T. She's not in any danger.

It's probably everyone else who's in danger.

He's definitely going to get out, too.

Maybe she can get him to stop eating people.

I BET SHE COULD. SHE CAN FIX HIM. HE LITERALLY CAN EAT RAW ANIMAL MEAT, HE DOESN'T HAVE TO EAT PEOPLE.

I guess she might have a hangup regarding him licking her blood after – well. Nah, she'll understand it was just because he's a WEEEEEEREWOOOOOLFFFF.

Also, the actual rapist is still on the loose, there's that.

I think Padre will realize that and follow up with the girl though to confirm. Then the cops can catch the real perp and let this INNOCENT wolfman free.

And on that day, she'll be exactly-old enough to be Wolfman's bride and they'll live happily ever after–they'll even get married in Padre's church, how about that?

It's not cope, it's REALISTIC. What, you wouldn't change a dietary habit for someone you really like? Or what, a woman wouldn't become romantically involved with a big powerful wolf man who saved her life when she was little? Give me a break.

XIII

Josh

We ate breakfast bars and sort of made out together. I have never smelled another girl who smelled like she did or smelled as good, either. There was smoke in it, and that fresh smell you get after a storm. Most of all, rich dirt like you smell when you dig a flower bed or something. That does not sound so nice when I write it down, but she smelled wonderful. Just wonderful.

She looked wonderful, too. Those long legs and tits just big enough to fill my hands. No wonder Mark would have killed me for her.

Only I killed him.

Josh is a young guy– maybe 16 or 17, who moved out into the country with his parents.

The next day they go into town and he just stays at their new house and looks around.

Night comes, they don't come back.

Spooky stuff starts happening, I'm not going to just list everything, but one particularly penis-shriveling incident was him waking up one night and slowly going downstairs because he can hear someone playing a piano. And then on the stairs, his flashlight goes out and a woman passes by him from behind.

AAAAAAAAAAA

So later on, a guy and girl come by–Mark and Vikki–who've been hitchhiking together and they're outta food. So they ask him for dinner, and he agrees.

He swears he's seen the girl before, and realizes he's seen her on TV, in the same outfit, hitchhiking. Huh.

Anyway, when Mark's in the bathroom, Vikki asks if she can stay with him and they'll tell Mark to leave. She likes Josh more,  he's NICER to her and he's CUTE.

Josh does the right thing.

I could see she was worth it, and if I had said no I would be kicking myself for the rest of my life.

Attaboy, Josh!

Except Mark doesn't take kindly to being cucked, and he pulls a knife.

Josh manages to uh, get it and stab him though, killing him.

Josh and Vikki bury him, wash up, eat, and she takes his virginity.

The next day, Josh is a little concerned about Mark's grave so they go and check it. Something's dug him up and eaten a lot of his insides.

Josh made the grave much deeper this time, and added a little cross to it out of sticks, which he hadn't the first time. Maybe that's significant.

When he was finished, Vikki was gone. He went back to the house, and she wasn't there.

Josh decides that he'll sleep inside tonight.

I am going to lock the doors and sleep inside tonight. There is something going on out back in the woods.

I can hear them.

This story was freakin spooky, and despite it being only a few pages, you know there's a LOT to it.

Imagine being so worried about "something going on out back in the woods" that you decide you'll sleep in your haunted house where night after night you are being spooked.

Did Vikki dig up and eat Mark? It's an obvious question. Where'd she disappear to? Why had Josh seen her before?

Who are the people in the house who Josh has seen? There's at least… 2 of them, a man and a woman. They don't SEEM to be Vikki and Mark; the woman has different hair than Vikki and Josh would have made note if they looked the same. And he never saw the man, but Mark didn't seem like the type to be able to play the piano.

Are the ghosts separate from the things in the woods behind the house? There's something going on in *both* places; at one point Josh decides that he's been spending too much time inside the house AND too much time behind the house. Yet he still returns to the house at the end of the story. Were the ghosts preyed upon by whatever's in those woods?  Is Vikki one of those things?

 The ghosts are probably the former residents: it's worth noting that there is no piano in the house. I don't think ghosts carry their pianos around with them, so there *used to be* a piano, and it was played by this ghostly man.

Why can't any of these poor guys end up with a girl who isn't a fucking monster?

Is Vikki going to try to kill him? Did she set them up to fight so one of them would die so she'd have something to eat? She did eat the pasta he made for her though!

Maybe it wasn't enough.

Josh got the impression that Mark was lying to him about something. Were Josh's parents killed by Vikki and Mark? No? Then where are they?

And what's the commotion behind the house now? The corpse-eaters seething that they can't get to Mark's body anymore because of the cross?

Idk maaaaaan, but it was a good story. Hopefully Josh survives the night and gtfos.

…

…

And  reunites with Vikki, who is perfectly innocentlmao who is PERFECTLY INNOCENT, and they live happily ever after.

XIV

Why I Was Hanged

great story, but I'm in an atrocious mood atm so ill just do my best………………………

Uh…

This story came from a man who found it on his bookshelf, having no recollection of ever buying it.

A guy. In England, during the… some old time when valets were a thing, you know, a MANSERVANT to live with you and do everything for you.

So our protagonist is a valet who was accidentally screwed out of an inheritance from his dead master: master forgot to update his will, and left everything to the previous valet, who is dead, so it all went to his wife.

Our unfortunate valet decides to go to work on a ship now.

Few years later, he comes back and tries to be a valet again. Sailor life wasn't for him. Luckily he ends up with a rich young man and is perfectly content to just grow old and die with him.

One night, he wakes to a beautiful ghostly maiden leaning over him. He gets up, and she's gone.

Hookah spookah. He thinks it was just a dream.

Then she comes back a few weeks later.

She can't speak but through gesture she gets him to prick his finger with a needle, and she noms the blood.

Then she speaks.

They hang out a bit aaand she says ttyl and leaves again.

She comes back another time.

She tells him she's going to be murdered–oh yeah, she's still alive btw, her uh… she describes *herself* like the ghost of Christmas Future–and she asks him to prevent her murder by killing the man who'd kill her. She says that the MARK OF CAIN is upon him, which is why she can speak to him so easily when she can't to others.

"Would you be blessed, Brooks? Blessed as the saints were? Would you join those who sit at the right hand of the Lord? Prevent my murder, and you shall. I swear it! Although I do not decide these things, I know how they are decided."

He confesses that he's already killed a man: while he was out at sea, he killed a shipmate who'd beaten him.

Now she wants him to kill ANOTHA ONE?

And who else would it be but his own master lol

He refuses.

The next morning she comes to ask him to at least stop her body from being eaten by wild dogs since he didn't save her.

"You refused the great service I asked of you. I ask a small one now. I perished by violence and died a virgin. You have not earned my blessing but you may yet escape my curse."

He does that at least, and finds her in a field. She looks as good as a dead girl can possibly look: she explains that the master had hit her hard in the throat.

Now, this wouldn't be a Gene Wolfe story without sex, would it?

"You would not save me, and I know that you will not avenge me. Take me now, if you wish. It will be release for you; and I, who never knew love in life shall know it in death."

I hesitated, and she said, "Do you imagine that you will be the first man to ravage a corpse? You go where tens of thousands have gone before you, and you will leave in your wake no bitter tears."

God help me, sir, I did as she had suggested. When I rose, she was gone. I called out to her, but received no response.

She was wrong though, and he DID avenge her. After he put her body where it'd be quickly found, he went home and killed his master.

In prison is where he wrote this story.

At his trial, of course, he saw the girl in attendance, crying for the dead master.

He's visited in his cell by her father, who's thankful that he killed his master. He'd rejected marrying his daughter. Not only that: She's now pregnant, and Pops assumes master had hit it and quit it.

He tells our valetbro, that his daughter suffers from fainting spells, where she appears almost dead. And she dreams that her soul leaves her body and runs around committing mischief.

Silliness, right?

Pops promises to get him a good lawyer.

There is no more to tell. I have recounted my story to that solicitor, Mr. Josiah Willis, who has inscribed this record as I spoke. He promises me it will never be made public but that he will exhibit it to the child Alice Landon bears when that child is of age. Thus the child, whom I believe my own, shall know who I was and why I was hanged. There is a God in Heaven, I know, and he must know how sincerely I have repented. I pray that he will make this record known not only to Miss Landon's child but to all my descendents, unto the seventh generation and beyond.

Pretty good, huh? Pulls the old switcheroo, we thought he was boning a dead woman. So did he.

Something else iiiiiinteresting is that it's implied Miss Landon might have something like two separate souls within her, which is why she can't remember her nightly meetings with valetbro.

Anyway she really played him like a fiddle, didn't she?

How'd she know he had the MARK OF CAIN, too?

Besides that, she was able to touch him and lick the blood from his finger.

Watch me make her innocentlmao

What if she really did think she was going to be killed? What if she really thought that she was dead? If her "ghost" is really separate from her body, then why wouldn't she think that she's dead if she's just lying there on the ground? If she can't remember everything she does while she's asleep, how can her ghost be expected to remember an–well… hmm…

On the other hand, if this has been going on for a while, you have to expect the ghost knows her body goes comatose like that. Isn't it more likely that she just wanted to trick him into having sex with her lol. Yes, it is.

Gee, thanks.

Uncaged

This is a simple story, and I'm exhausted so I'll make it quick.

White man in Africa hanging out in uh… Rhodesia maybe? Idr

Gets news that a … plantation owner's been killed by a leopard.

Travels there, plantation's abandoned. Black wife is in a cage. Why?

It's simple. She turns into a freakin leopard.

There's no real mystery to this story, it's basically just the guy– oh, he breaks her out of the cage because he doesn't know what she is at the time. He figures it out soon enough when they keep being attacked by a leopard and when a pack of previously-friendly monkeys chimps out when they see her and try to kill her, only to end up retreating with mysteriously brutal wounds.

And he's into that Chocolate Sin, so he takes her as his wife since her late husband was killed by… a leopard.

So the rest of the story is basically just him coping with her turning into a leopard at night, trying to keep her locked in the room with him.

But she sneaks out. And kills people.

But she's sexy and nice to him lmao

Isn't that all we really want?

"I know only a few words English at that time, words I remember from England. I try and try to remember them all. At night in the bed I whisper them. It is like I pray."

"Because they had meaning," I said. "The French words you heard others say had meaning, too. But not to you, not at that time."

"I love you," Kay whispered; and I wondered just what meaning, if any, those words held for her.

And for me.

They're on a cruise ship, and a doctor's been tracking her for a while. He confronts our bro, basically all but accusing her of killing people, though suggesting it's just her wearing a panther skin and using a claw-weapon.

Bro finds him dead shortly after this conversation, with a big spinal-piercing chomp on the back of his neck.

The story ends with them settled back in New York.

There was a piece in the paper this morning about the death of a fifteen-year-old-girl (page A2). She was, the paper said, apparently killed by an animal. The article did not say whether parts of her body had been eaten. It was found lodged in a tree, about ten feet above the ground.

I showed the piece to Kay, who said she had already seen it. "Is it not terrible?"

Afterward I read the whole piece again. It is, of course–terrible and horrible, but what can I do?

What in the hell can I do?

Good question. If your wife was turning into a big cat and killing people, wat do? Lock her in a cage I guess. But it didn't work out so well for the first guy.