Empathy Isn't Sexy and Neither Are You

(And You're Not Empathetic Either)

I've never heard anyone talking about "empathy" in a way that didn't make me want to bodyslam them through a glass table.

Whenever someone is talking about empathy, they're always, without fail, either outright stating or at least implying that other people are lacking in it. Nine times out of ten it's over politics. Vote the way *I* want you to, believe whatever *I* want you to, do whatever *I* say or *you* don't have empathy.

"Well, you see, THOSE PEOPLE are simply lacking in empathy... I feel SORRY for them, really..."

Wow, you're telling me that these people who you don't like are the way they are because they're "lacking in empathy"? That's incredible! I can tell that you're really good at understanding other people.

Is it possible to genuinely "empathize" your way into knowing that someone else lacks empathy? Maybe. Is that what ANYONE is ACTUALLY doing? No. Why? Because


People constantly overestimate their own physical and mental energy. People love theory and hate practice. The obvious example is everyone agreeing that helping homeless people is important, with no-one actually doing it. That's hard work. It's far easier to say "Uhhh... raise taxes to help them..." People collect a lot of very nice-sounding ideas to shape their identities. But that's all it is: ideas. And when they're put to the test, they become lies.

It isn't just physical effort people avoid, they avoid mental effort too. And empathizing with people is effort. That's why instead of actually empathizing with people they don't like, they'll dismiss them entirely as "lacking in empathy". It's easy.

It's just another way of calling people "stupid" or "evil". That's all it is. It's a smug, self-righteous way of being dismissive for people who don't believe in God and can't say "I'll pray for you." Except God actually exists, while the "Empathy" that these air-heads worship does not. Forget about actually being able to "empathize" with others in the way that smug idiots pretend to: Human beings don't have the capacity to even TRY to practice empathy with everyone they meet.

This isn't a "bad" thing, or a failing. Humans have to prioritize themselves over others to survive. The "Empathy" that people pretend to have is not compatible with life. The plain truth is, empathy-fetishists are no more empathetic than anyone else. In fact, they're probably at least a little bit less.

In conclusion, if you talk about "Empathy" being "sexy" I think you have a pea-sized brain.

You're also probably a bad person in general and your friends secretly can't stand you. You should try to be a little more empathetic :)

edit, 2023-05-12. absolutely perfect example i saw.

My Qualifications

Yeah, that's right.