The Lord of the Plotholes!

The Lord of the Rings? More like "The Lord of the Plotholes". There's no doubt that despite being a racist and misogynist and white, that JRR Tolkien was a decent writer. But his infamous work, The Lord of the Rings, is unquestionably overrated--especially as of late, with racist dudebros and cryptofascist incels coming out of the woodwork to spew long-debunked criticism at Amazon's exciting new vision for the series, despite overwhelming support for Amazon from the Official Verified Licensed Tolkien Scholar Community.

Like its Old(Dead) White Man author, TLOTR is by no means a perfect story, with many brilliant Queer Critics of Colour picking apart the fantasy story over the years.

Here are our TOP 10 Plotholes of Middle-Earth!!:

10- No, Arwen Would NOT Have Waited For Aragorn To Get His Shit Together!

9- Yes, The Eagles COULD Have Flown The Ring To Mordor (Despite Incels Claiming Otherwise)

8- The Watcher In The Water Is a Queer Icon, And Should Have Played a Larger Role

7- Where Do Orc Babies Come From? Why Are Elf Women Never Shown Having Sex With Orcs???

6- Gondor Was Racist as Fuck

5- Rohan Was Racist as FUUUUUUCK!!

4- Yes, Eowyn Was Trans And Should Have Fucking Become Queen of Rohan

3- The Horrifying Hobbit Supremacist History of Pipeweed: Why did Gandalf, a supposed "wizard" not call it out??

2- Hobbits Believing Elves to Be Beautiful, Despite a Lack of Social Conditioning (This Is Impossible Because Beauty Standards Are Created By Society)

1- Yes, Galadriel Was Powerful Enough To Control The Ring (And She Should Have Taken It From Frodo): Tolkien's Misogyny Is Painfully Transparent In His Ultimate Betrayal of the Powerful Noldor Warrior-Queen

With so many plotholes, inconsistencies, and flaws in Middle Earth, it's no wonder that white-wing extremists are drawn to it. But literature experts agree overwhelmingly that the death of the author allows us to reshape flawed and racist stories and improve them to be more fair, equitable, and accessible to historically-marginalized folks. That's OBVIOUSLY a good thing. In the current horrifying political landscape of white supremacy, it's never been more important to dismantle it wherever possible. YES, that means black elves, black dwarves, Black Aragorn, Black Eru, and White Morgoth. If you have a problem with a FANTASY story being changed to be more inclusive, maybe you shoul take a good look in the mirror, and learn a little thing called empathy.

In conclusion, there is NO room in the Official Amazon Licensed Lord of the Rings Fandom Community for incels, racists, right-wing extremists, Christians, white people, light-skinned latinx folks, Elves, or thin women. Tolkien is FUCKING DEAD, just like you will be!!!!

COMMENTS IN THIS ARTICLE HAVE BEEN TURNED OFF DUE TO HARASSMENT AND DEATH THREATS FROM EXTREMIST TROLLS