Your Razor is Trash

No matter how expensive it is, no matter how many blades it has, all cartridge razors are trash.

I don't care what bullshit "budget" monthly-box you subscribe to, it's still overpriced, and it's still trash.

I'm not even going to talk about the demonic social media aspect of razor companies literally saying "Men need to stop being stoic." I don't HAVE to, because their products are LITERALLY garbage.

What do you do with a cartridge razor? You throw it in the garbage. How is that different than a disposable razor? Wow, you're keeping the HANDLE? BRO THAT'S INCREDIBLE!!!

This is what your grandfather probably shaved with.

It's called a safety razor and it's superior to cartridge razors in every way.

-It's MUCH easier to clean
-The blades last longer MUCH longer
-The blades are so much cheaper it's almost unbelievable
-You get the same quality shave
-You can actually be more precise around parts like your nose because you don't have a giant plastic case buffering you from the blade
-You're not rubbing plastic on your face and turning yourself into a woman

When I first discovered safety razors, I did some light research into their history. Did you know cartridge razors were only invented by G*lette because no-one ever needed to replace their straight razors and safety razors? I'm not joking. I know that sounds like a joke. Really makes ya think.

Cartridge razors are entirely without merit. The "extra blades gives you a closer shave" thing is a lie, and it always has been. If one blade doesn't trim far enough, a second and third aren't going to magically do it. JUST GO OVER IT AGAIN. And why do you need a strip of gel on your razor head, when you can APPLY IT YOURSELF.

Cartridge razors are marginally-more difficult to cut yourself with. That sounds good, right? But consider what it actually means: "This razor, supposedly used for cutting, is not good at cutting." Oof. Besides that, if you're shaving, you're probably an adult, right? SURELY you can handle a sharp object. It's okay little guy, you don't need to use construction paper scissors anymore, you can use the sharp orange Fiskars now. You're responsible enough.

I once recommended a safety razor to a guy who was basically more masculine than me in every way. Bigger, stronger, act together. Or so I thought. But when I made that recommendation, he looked at me like I was insane and said "I'd cut my face off!" Pussy.

Here's some TOO-MUCH-INFORMATION for you:

I used to shave my junk with a safety razor. I mean all of it. And I knicked myself exactly one single time--the first time, because I was so used to having to press hard with a cartridge. Never happened again.

Shaving with a safety razor is LITERALLY easier than shaving with a Cartridgecuck razor, because you don't even have to press as hard.

For around $30, you can get a handle and a pack of like 100 razors that will last you YEARS.


It was a big pack, but you know what else helps?

When you can actually TAKE YOUR BLADE OUT, CLEAN IT, AND DRY IT, it can last MONTHS longer than any cartridge. You don't have to tolerate hair getting caught between multiple useless blades and in plastic crevices--all trapping water and making everything rust faster.

"Y-you must be joking! I-if cartridge razors are such inferior pieces of crap, then how come everyone uses them???"

idk, why do people buy diamonds? because you're brainlets.

one day the Cartridge Meme will be looked back on as one of the greatest lies ever told in history. Maybe it'll be 1000 years in the future, and I'll finally be approaching the end of my first pack of blades.

"Cool" subsription-based razor companies pretend to be your friend and ally against more expensive razor companies

But they're still selling you an inferior product. Is that something a friend would do?

I don't think it is. Go get a safety razor.

Or be an EVEN BIGGER CHAD and get a straight razor. Go ahead. Then send me an email calling me a pussy for not having joined you yet. You'd be well within your rights.

Stop letting companies sell you trash

have a good day