Welcome to my UFC 300 post!

RECAP: I did pretty good didn't I? Granted, some of these aren't picks, they're who I was rooting for. At least Bobby Green was too weak to finish Old Man Miller. But hey,

DID I CALL THE MAIN EVENT OR DID I CALL THE MAIN EVENT???

UFC 300 bay bayyyyyyy.

let's see what we got heyah... i dont care about half the fights, but let's see anyway...

Figuei... Fi... Figoeroifgjgrdo vs Gar... g.. garbabant.

I think. I think i dont care. but I think Garbrandt will win via KO. Figgy'ssss moving up a weight class, i think he's too smol, I don't think he'll be able to R-lmao im talking out my ass, I've never seen Cody Garberarant fight. So idk, I'll ROOT for Figgy. The Figster. Figueruerdio.

BOBBY GREEN VS OLD MAN JIM MILLER? I want Jim to just kill Bobby and retire. After having his head caved in a few months ago, idk how well Bobby's going to hold up against Miller's OLD MAN STRENGTH. But unfortunately with the old man strength comes the old man chin, and Bobby is, of course, naturally harder to KO than a person of Whiteness. Did--what's his face... that lanklet guy who looks like a xenomorph... did JALIN TURNER soften Bobby up enough for Jim to get a nice ez victory? idk, i just want him to win and stop fighting already, he's like 200 yaers old. I also want Bobby to retire because ffs i dont care how black you are, you cant just keep getting KO'd and be healthy.

Jessica Andreaddadae vs Marina Rodriguez?

Marina has a very somber face. She'd be beautiful if she wasn't a fighter, and i still think she look pretty cute.

This is how to pick women's MMA. Marina will DOMINANTLY lose a decision. This is subject to robbery, as all UFC women's fights are.

JALIN "LANKLET" TURNER vs RENATO MOICANO?!

we ride with Money Moicano, he's going to beat the everloving SHIT out of Jalin Turner after surviving Round 1 where Turner will STUPIDLY exhaust himself like a lanky stringbean retard, and turn himself into FOOD for Renato to EAT.

kk, what else...

Sodiq Y....useifeefe. VS DIEGO LOPEZZZZ

LET'S. FUCKING. DIEGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

WE RIDE, WE DIE WITH DIEGO LOPEZ. THE BEST HAIRCUT IN THE GAME. WE STAN DIEGO LOPEZ HERE, THE EMO KID IN SCHOOL WHO HAD TOO-MASCULINE OF A FACE FOR THE STRAIGHTENED HAIR, DIEGO LOPEZ is the strongest living Featherweight, and he's going to crack Sadodawiq Youseff's skull open like a discord troon egg. DIEGOOOOOOOOOOOOOo!!!!!!!!

Holly Holm vs Kayla Harrison. We here at Didn't Ask are very-much opposessssed to Transgender MMA fighters competing against women. It's disgusting that Dana White is offering up poor old Holly Holm "The Preacher's Daughter", on the altar of Progress for Kayla Harrison, who coming into this fight weighed about as much as an average man, but with 0% body fat. Every time a memefight like this happens, it's just fun to remember that the UFC isn't a real sport organization any more than the WWE is. MMA in general is already IFFY, but the UFC is just a carnival freakshow. Am I being too mean? Is it possible Kayla really is just a genetic freak and hasn't been on steroids the last 15 years of her life?

No, it's not possible.-- sry i had to let my dog onto my bed. She didn't want to jump up without my permission.

Anyway, what was i... look, Kayla Harrison literally has Alex Pereira face. If I cropped a picture of Alex Pereira and Kayla Harrison, and I asked you to tell me which was which, you wouldn't even be able to. Men have trouble achieving her ph-- ... well, there's a gyno Izzy joke here but nvm, anyway... uh.

RIP Holly, I be rooting for you.

CALVIN KATTAR VS ALJO?!?!

I rooted for Aljo against Sean "I Let Other Men Fuck My Wife" O'Malley, because i didnt want a cuckold to be a UFC champion. Aljo failed and now he's moving up a weight class? The fucking nerve. SEND HIM BACK DOWN THERE, CALVIN. CALVINISM MEANS ALJO IS PREDETERMINED TO GO BACK TO BANTAMWEIGHT WHERE HIS FAT ASS BELONGS.

Jiri and Alexkxkanazxander Ra... Radich? uhh, they're both Eastern-European Christians, so I don't care. I just hope neither of them get hurt. Alek cracked Jan's big fat polish chin though, so it's not looking fantastic for Jiri. ROOTIN FOR YA JIRI

Bo "Find God" Nickal vs Cody "The Can" Brundage. The odds on this fight are so funny it makes me happy. I can't calculate this... what is this, 11 to 1? ahahahahahaha i I LIED, I LIED! I LOVE MEMEFIGHTS AFTER ALL!!!

Uhhhhh, normally I like underdogs, but I rly do appreciate Bo Nickal telling people to Find God lmao and he isssss making a lot of the "NOOOO THIS PROSPECT NEEDS TO BE HUMBLED!!!" people mad, so I will be roooooooooting for Bo Nikalaclacal.

CHARLES OLIVESEREERIA VS ARMAN SYSTRARURTKAN

Brazil vs Armenia. This match decides the most powerful form of Christianity. Olives height mogged Arman into the ground, so is the battle already over? the only thing i know for sure is that I wish Charles's tattoo guy had been a *lot* better.

JUSTIN GAY-CHEE VS MAX HOLLOWOWOWOAY FOR THE FAKE "BAD MOTHA FUCKA" BELT. Wow I lied again i hate memefights after all.

The BMF belt is fucking retarded, but who cares? not me. Both CHAD Christians, but Max is moving up frommm Featherweight, and even though he's not consistently ko'ing people, I think people forget Khabib said no-one ever punched him as hard as Jushin did. Is that meaningless anime-tier praise? maybe, but who cares, not meeeeeee. Rooting for the CHAD CATH Max though, hoping they don't destroy each other too badly.

Two Chinese girls fighting. i wish Zhang Weili was the President of the United States, we'd be better off. We're going to end up like every shithole Eurocuck country with a female leader anyway, I WANT HER TO AT LEAST BE A CHINESE MARTIAL ARTIST.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand

Alex "STONE. HANDS." Peeieireirerea vs Jamaaaaaaaaal "fat boi" Hill. I dont actually trust Alex's chin very much, BUT-- here's something funny. Jamamahal's ONLY LOSS is via KO by Paul fuckign Craig LMFAO, a CRAPPY, BAD FIGHTER who is now busy getting murdered at middleweight. If he can get knocked out by Paul Craig, SURELY Peeierieirera can do it, right? Right? Uhhh, yeah, i think Alex can get it done. KO in r1, watch it happen.